The Definition of "Please"

There are many definitions to the word "Please". (This reminds me of Bill Clinton saying "It depends on what the definition of "Is" is").

Such as:

A verb.
To give pleasure (It will please me if she brings me some cookies with my coffee)
A wish (Do as you please)
To have the kindness (If it's not too much trouble, will you please....)
To be at will (It will please your majesty if I fluff your pillows)

What's the point?

I had the TV on tonight. There was a commercial for Jack Daniels or Jim Beam, can't remember which, not important. At the end of the add, it said:



I've seen this before, but tonight it rubbed me the wrong way. Why does it need to be so polite?

"I will rock your world if you drink responsibly"
"I wish you would drink responsibly"
"If it's not out of your way, I would appreciate you to drink responsibly"
"George Bush will be happy if you drink responsibly"

Is any of this going to convince you, if you decide to NOT drink responsibly? I didn't think so.

I enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time, I won't lie. However, when it comes to drinking responsibly, we need not be polite.

Drink responsibly. Just do it. Yes, it's that simple. No favors required.

Edited to add: HA! Just after I hit "Publish Post", I saw a commercial for Captain Morgan's spiced rum. At the end of the commercial it just said "Drink Responsibly". They've got the right idea!

True Story

"Craig is all about luxurt and comfery. I consider it a comforment that he chooses to hang around with me."

Said by me, to Shiree.

No, I'm not going to tell you how many glasses of wine I had before I made that statement!

I love drunk dials

I've had calls from the right coast, from the left coast, from the United Kingdom (I love you Rip Zip and Wry C!), and a few from the same state I live in. It doesn't matter, I love them all!

To my friends who called me the other night (they know who they are... my very hip New Yorker friends!), I'm so sorry I missed your call! I saved that voicemail on my phone so I can use it to cheer me up when I'm feeling down.

Nothing warms my heart more than knowing that my friends are thinking of me when they're in a very happy, inebriated state.

Future Casanova in the making

Last night I went shopping at Old Navy alone, and got there right before they closed. Oh yes, I was one of those customers. I was walking through the store really fast to get to where I needed to go, and there were only a few other shoppers. A little boy, not more than 6 years old, walked up to me and said "Hey, if you have any daughters, would you have them call me?" while raising his eyebrows. WTF? I'm not sure how to take this. He was with his dad, and I didn't notice if his dad was single or not. Anyway, that's a line I've never heard.

Switching gears. Every day it's becoming more and more clear to me that I'm a doofus. I have two stories:

The other day I was in an elevator, and the doors closed and I started hearing the song "Beautiful Day". I was thinking "Yes, I love this song! This is going to be a great day!" and I was smiling. I got out of the elevator and started walking down the hall when I realized that my ringtone for general calls is set to "Beautiful Day". I missed an important work-related phone call. Ugh! I've never been blonde, what's my excuse?

When I was in NYC, I bought myself some shot glasses as a souvenir. The store clerks wrapped them in brown paper sacks, and I haven't unpacked or looked at them since. Last night I was wanting to use my new shot glasses (don't ask), and got them out. They were totally NOT the design I remembered buying or wanting. Then I remembered that I bought them right after I drank half of a bottle of wine at dinner. In the future, I should probably not shop after drinking.

How's this for a random post? Happy Friday, everyone!