Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Is it any wonder I'm tired?

A friend of mine who reads my blog but NEVER BOTHERS TO POST asked me how I chose the topics that I blog about. Truth be told, I blog when inspiration hits. Blogging can't be forced. If it is, then I think it will suck. Anyway, I'm not one to to name names, but my friend can be seen in This picture and This one.

I've been off of work since the Friday before Christmas. Friday wasn't so bad, my girls went to their babysitter and I was able to have some completely selfish fun. By saturday I had FINALLY finished Christmas shopping for them, and by Sunday, I was relaxed, despite the fact that my husband had to work and it was just me and the girls at home. On Monday, we had a good Christmas. We visited my in-laws and my parents, the girls were spoiled beyond belief, and we got their new beds with new bedding that Santa brought them all set up.

The truth of the matter is, I don't think I could cut it as a stay at home mom. Selfishly, I love the time I spend at work. I love being "Christy" and not mother and wife. I love making decisions and knowing that what I do and say makes a difference in how things are done. I'm an instant gratification kind of person. It's an overwhelming, daunting task to know that what I do and say will probably end up being talked about on a therapists couch, one day. I try my hardest, but I know that eventually, they'll regret everything that I've done for them. I'll just do my best to get them the help that they need and not take it personally. No parent is perfect.

At that note, I'm dreading going back to work. Until a couple of months ago, I was the only person who did my job. With this knowledge, I had a hard time taking time off knowing I was going to have to go back and it would all still be there for me to do. Last fall, my boss allowed me to hire someone to do the busy work so that I could focus on other things. She's been amazing and has caught on extremely well. But I'm still afraid to go back. It's only wednesday and I already have butterflies over what is waiting for me at my desk.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

If I don't know where it was made, I don't want it!

My department has had 3 lunches this month, scheduled for the holidays. One of them was an end of year "Thank You" (can no longer classify official business meetings as Holiday) held by our department VP. It was a very classy event held at a prestigious restaurant, with great food and service. The second was held the very next day for the entire business unit. Lunch was catered in from a local business, lame gifts were given out, and it was okay. The third was held today, just a department potluck and white elephant gift exchange.

I really don't like potlucks. It's not so much a dislike, but rather, a fear. First of all, you don't know what the kitchens of your co-workers look like. You don't know if they wash their hands at home. You're not sure who as been in the line before you, touching the same utensils and breathing on the food. So many unknowns. Yet if you chose to not participate, the potential is there to be seen as the department scrooge. Such is my dilemma.

I "accidentally" forgot to bring a gift to exchange (not really- I just have no desire to trade my crap for someone elses), and brought a pre-made salad from Costco. I purposely waited for everyone else to go, and got at the end of the line. Then the department slug got in line behind me. This slug is a man that I work with that is the most condescending sexist pig I've ever met. How he is still employed by my very politically correct company, I'll never know. I know of at least 2 occasions that he's been busted for porn viewing in the office. His wife is a BYU professor! When he speaks to me he acts like he's teaching a sunbeam class. And he's huge... probably 6'4" and 300 pounds. And he's in line behind me. Behind me isn't a good way to put it, more like, he got in line ON TOP OF ME. Literally breathing down my back, his stomach touching my arm and waaaaaaaay over invading my personal space. So I got out of line and went back to my desk. I'm not THAT eager to make an appearance.

I wait for everyone to finish, and am the very last in line. No room for me at the big table, I have to sit at the "little kids" table with 2 others.

Doesn't every office have these lame-ass potlucks? Why? Does anyone REALLY like them? I mean, don't most people have the exact same experience I just described?

To end on a happy note, this was my last day of work until 2007. Yipee!!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Weirdness ensues

More on the weird stuff. I have to direct your attention to the comments on my post below about my weird traits. My BFF Shiree tried to sneak in some weird things about herself thinking that they would go un-noticed, and I can't have that. Everyone should get to experience the joy that is Shiree, in whatever way possible.

Now I get to sing the praises about my friend, because it's my blog and I'll gush if I want to.

Shiree has a smile that brightens any room she enters. There are some people in crowds who do everything they can to be the center of attention, then there are people who just are. This is the type of person that everyone is drawn to and can't stop staring at. The latter is Shiree. She has the most infectious laugh that I've ever heard, you can't not enjoy every moment of being in her presence. She dances like Shakira at 3 in the morning when everyone else is coming off of their drunken stupors and ready to crash. She is more crafty than Martha Stewart, plays the drums like a rockstar (I'm not kidding!), and has been known to wake her husband in the middle of the night to give HIM oral satisfaction. Yup, she is, without a doubt, the perfect woman. And I'm lucky enough to call her BFF!

Here we are, with one of our other BFF's Erica, at the party that we met La at last year:

I'm sandwiched between Erica (left) and Shiree (right), which is how I like it! We are post tequila shot with oranges and just as happy as can be.

I love you Shiree, and all the weirdness that comes with you is just the icing on the cake!

(PS- happy late birthday to Rob! It was the 18th and I totally flaked. I'm sorry, Rob!!)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Elevator Etiquette

Now it's time for a completely random thought by Christy.

I've worked in the same building for the past 10 years, 7 months, and 13 days. The building I work in is rather large, mostly in width and depth, but only 4 stories high. The planning of this building was not well thought out. You enter on one side of the building, and walk into a grand atrium with skylights, trees, and elevators. This is the only elevator access throughout the building. To finish setting this pointless story up, I have worked on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd floors.

It is an un-written rule, that unless you have an obvious major medical condition, you do not take the elevator to the second floor without receiving looks to kill. There is a fun spiral staircase in the atrium that goes up one level, or there are countless stairwells throughout the building. The elevators are painfully slow, so people on the 3rd and 4th floors feel highly inconvenienced if you have to make a stop at the 2nd. When I was pregnant with twins I worked on the second floor, and I would have contractions when walking up the stairs. Every time I got in the elevator, I felt like I had to explain to everyone why I was there and making them stop.

Now that I work on the 3rd floor, I have a set of standards that I try to abide by. If I'm going up stairs, and happen to be walking in front of the elevator and the door is open, I'll take the elevator. Otherwise, I take the stairs. This morning I got in the elevator and kept the door open for a woman who was running towards me saying "Please hold the elevator for me!" Okay, no problem. I, following proper elevator etiquette, say "Which floor?" as I pressed the number three button. The woman says "Oh, three is good."

Three is good? Does she not know which floor she needs to go to work on? So wherever I'm going, it's good for her? Truthfully, I think she needed to go to the second floor, but didn't want me to give her the evil eye, so she asked for 3 and walked to 2. It could be that I'm overanalyzing this. Personally, I think it's easier to walk up a flight of stairs than it is to walk down a flight of stairs. But I'm weird like that.

With this big long pointless boring story, I'll end it like this. Even still, as annoying as it is to stop on the second floor for the lazy peeps, it still beats the one thing that makes me cringe, that I hear almost daily. It's worth repeating, this building has 4 floors. After I ask "Which floor?" Someone trying to be clever and make small talk in an elevator full of strangers, will inevitably say "Five please, I hear that's where the hot tub is".

It defies all sense of personal integrity to laugh out of courtesy.

Monday, December 18, 2006

More fun than should be allowed

I found this a few years ago, and every year I get such a kick out of it... you should too! Holiday Snowglobe

I suck at the blog updating lately! Not that I think anyone is on pins and needles just waiting to find out what happens in my oh-so-boring (yet terribly exciting) life. But if I don't continue to update, you won't continue to come back and read and respond, then what will happen to our sEXMObile created by Gluby?

Last night we went to Jer's family Christmas party. First time I've seen most of his extended family since announcing our exodus more than a year ago. We couldn't go to the party last year because it fell on the same night as the U2 concert, and I have priorities. I was still greeted kindly and hugged by everyone, but I think most of them didn't know what to do with me beyond that. I did my best to not only look great, but be happy the entire time.

Yesterday my daughter Emilie was asking about her nipples, and we got to talking about how all mammals have nipples. Then she said "Does Santa Clause have nipples?" I couldn't contain my laughter at this point- that's an image I've not ever thought of. "Yes Emilie, Santa Clause has nipples too!" After she thought about that for a minute, she said "Well are they really big nipples?"

I tried doing a google image search for a Santa Clause with nipples and couldn't come up with anything. My photoshop abilities do not rock. So here's my request for those of you with the mad photoshop skillz- create an image of Santa Clause with nipples for me? And NOT Mrs. Santa Clause. I want the old jolly fat guy. Pete or Gluby, I'm leaving this in your very capable hands.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Tagged by Sideon!

Sideon, it's a good thing I like you, or else I would tell you to piss up a rope! (I totally stole that from Pete Dunn)

I'm supposed to blog about six weird things about me. The thing is, I'm the most boring, normal person in the world. There really are not six weird things about me. Pete Dunn has a great idea- he said he's going to devote his next 6 posts that are weird facts about him. I briefly considered stealing that idea from him (Pete- don't hate! Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery!), but then I realized that my posts would be boring and normal. Here I go, trying to come up with six weird things about me, and I'll try to not be normal.

1. I love dust. I blame this on the fact that I'm low in iron. Everywhere I go, if I see dust, I wipe it. It's a sickness. I love watching the dust disappear. If there's a lot, I love to blow on it and watch the particles in the air. When I talk to co-workers, I will start dusting their desks without realizing it. I don't eat dust-- I just love playing with it. And I crave the smell from the dust on my window blinds in my bedroom, but only from there. My iron levels are dangerously low, even after taking supplements. I blame this on that.

2. I hum without knowing it. A couple of years ago I had a co-worker talking about how noises people make annoy her, and she said "But Christy's humming doesn't bother me". I said "What?? I don't hum! You must be hearing something else!" and she agreed with me. Later I was telling my cubie mate about this, and she said "Christy, you DO hum! Especially when you're concentrating on something." WTF?!?! Then the next day, I caught myself. Yeah, I hum. I've tried to stop, but I'm sure I still do it without realizing.

3. I have a few OCD traits, but they're probably pretty normal. I'm always afraid of leaving my flat iron or curling iron plugged in. I don't believe that they're really unplugged unless I actually touch the plug at least twice. I always forget, and have to run back to check. I've even driven away from my house, and had to turn around and go back home to make sure everything is unplugged. It ALWAYS is.

4. My fingers, toes, knees, and hips are double jointed. Here's the freak that I am- when I was 10 or 11 years old, I used to twist my fingers up before I took the sacrament. Most people try to twist their fingers, but they can't do it like I do. For me, it was a way to attract the boys passing the sacrament. Most girls try to primp and look pretty, but Christy tries to look deformed. I guess I really am a freak. Oh, and I can play Nintendo with my toes.

5. My memory is insane. In fact, I play it down so that people don't think that I'm stalking them. I remember everything about people. Their names, birthdays, where they're from, their phone numbers, etc. I pretend to forget the details, but I remember all of this of about 90% of people I meet. If I don't remember, it's because something must have distracted me when I learned the information. I usually lie and say I don't remember, just so I can feel like I'm normal.

6. I can talk really really fast. When I get nervous or speak in front of a crowd, I have to keep reminding myself to slow down my speech. My dad used to tell me that it sounded like I was speaking a foreign lanugage, I was speaking so fast.

Damn, those were really lame. I'm so boring. So now who do I torture by tagging?

Floating in the Milk
Regina Filangi
Cutie Patootie Rebecca

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

It's all about picking your battles

Last summer, my mom had what we think is a nervous breakdown. My dad announced to her about 3 years ago, that after 40 years of marriage, he has never believed in the church. My mom is what some might call a church addict. She's struggled with serious depression ever since, although she never let on to what she was going through. She always put on a happy face and tried to ignore the feelings. Last spring, I told her that I didn't believe in mormonism anymore, and would no longer be practicing, nor would I raise my children that way. Again, she put on a happy face and said "Only you know what the best path in life is!" and the discussion was over.

Back to the nervous breakdown. It's a really long story and I won't get into the details, but the nuts and bolts of it is that one day she started speaking really strangely, saying very odd things, and she actually sounded drunk. Her speech was slurred, she wasn't making any sense. Her body was uncontrollabley shaking, and she was hearing voices and seeing spots. After a few calls to her doctor, my dad was advised to take her to the emergency room.

To wind this up, she was put through several tests, given all sorts of medications, and her doctors were baffled. I witnessed everything first hand, and I know she wasn't faking any of it. Ever since then, I've been unconsciously detaching myself from the situation. I want to be there for her, but I don't know how to act or what to say in her presence. She's still not herself, and I'm doubtful that she ever will be herself again. She still says really odd things... for instance, after recently returning from my business trip to NYC, she said "So did you go to Florida, too?" Yeah, because it's a hop, skip, and a jump, right? This is not my mom. My mom is bright and intelligent and independant. She only has little moments that make me remember who she used to be.

Today my mom calls me and says "I found the most adorable Christmas book for the girls! It has two stories, one about how Santa knows what they're doing and loves them and gives them presents, then the other is the same story, but only it's about Jesus! Isn't that great? You still teach them about Jesus, don't you?" I hope you'll understand why I didn't have the heart to tell her no. I guess I'll let her read the girls the book when she gives it to them, then I'll put it on a shelf until it's eventually sent to the DI. (Deseret Industries... local thrift shop for you non Utahn or LDS folk)

Monday, December 11, 2006

I'm sorry Ros, gosh!!

Ros posted a comment in my last post that she's impatiently waiting for my next update. Ros is one of the few people I will let boss me around (rawrrr!) so here's my update on nuthin'...

Christmas is 2 weeks away, and I'm a little freaked out. Still have done only minimal shopping. We took the girls to the mall to see Santa yesterday, and I had to peek my head into Express, just to see what they had to offer, plus I received a $15 off coupon in the mail that I *have* to use before December 24th. I'm not one to pass up anything discounted from Express... so I ended up shopping for me! :) Then the adorable sales girl gave me a $10 off coupon for a future visit before December 24th. You can bet on the fact that I will return for another purchase... those Express marketing reps are pure genious! Of course, I believe their clothes sell themselves.

My post about the Victoria's Secret model generated quite the response, I was highly entertained with each comment! Combine this with the fact that some of my friends have told me that they read my blog, but they NEVER BOTHER TO POST!! So here I am, begging and pleading all of you who are reading this, please say hi?? You can remain anonymous, although I would prefer to know who you are, beggars can't be choosers. You don't need to post anything more than "hi!". I would just like to get a general idea of how many lurkers are out there.

Please?? Pretty please?? I'm not above bribery!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Why does Jesus have to spoil Christmas?

My husbands younger brother found his myspace page where Jer lists himself as an Atheist. Little brother has known that Jer left mormonism for quite some time now, but I guess the thought never crossed his mind that he might become *gasp* an ATHEIST!! How could this be?? The evil horror! So little brother freaks out to mom and dad, who actually done made me proud by quoting the 11th Article of Faith "We claim the privilege of worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, and what they may."

So Jer gets a wild hair up his ass and sends little brother a message just to torment him, something about how atheists eat babies. It turned into a back and forth battle of the wits, in which little brother is poorly equipped. After a few messages, it stopped being fun for Jer. It's pointless to pick on someone in a different league. Little brother was very concerned about our hypocrisy of celebrating Christmas. Whatevah, what the thinks has never bothered me.

Tonight we did what many Atheists do around Christmas time, and went to see Ballet West's Nutracker:

My daughters sat enchanted the entire time, I can't even get them to do that with movies! The performance was spectacular as always, and we had a fantastic time. On the way there, I decided to put on some Christmas music to make me feel more festive. *sigh* Most of the songs they played are songs that I used to love and loved to sing with, then listening to the words, I decided that little brother might be right about having to be christian in order to celebrate Christmas.

I came home to an email from my friend Jeff (known on the DAMU as SL Slacker- known worldwide as a fantastic writer), in which he stated "It seems every time I put on a Christmas CD I'm enjoying the music when all of a sudden it blurts out something like "Oh Praise Jesus - Bow down and be clean from your sins because of the little baby." or something like that."

I couldn't agree more with Jeff, couldn't agree more.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Now I know what to ask Santa for Christmas!

My dreams have come true today. Does anyone remember this post? Well Pete Dunn remembered, and emailed me a link to this today.

Thanks Pete, you're my new best friend!

Get your Sexy on!

Last night my husband and I watched the Victoria's Secret fashion show, which was so much fun. We both lust after the same Angel, Alessandra Ambrosio:

She's been my catalogue favorite for a couple of years, although it's depressing when I buy something that she's wearing and I don't look nearly as fantastic.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


I learned this word yesterday, from a business colleague of mine in the UK. This is a colleauge who intentionally tries to use at least 5 big words in each sentence to confuse and dismay people. Really, he's admitted to this fact.

Me: "Thanks for the info, Peter, but I don't think I'll ever make use of that word."
Him: "Why not? It's a perfectly functional, fine word."
Me: "I refuse to use words I can't even pronounce!"
Him: "What's so difficult about Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?" (yes, he said it with ease and finesse!)
Me: "Okay, I'll try. Hipopotamusblahblahblabha"
Him: "Keep practicing, you'll get it one day!"

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia means the fear of long words. While I may not always use long words, I'm okay with them. That being said, I have many other irrational fears. Here is my confession:

  • Voice Mail. I see that red light on my phone, and I avoid it until it can't be avoided any longer. This has actually gotten me in trouble once or twice. Moral of this story is, if you want to talk to me, wait until you can get ahold of me, email me, or text me. Chances are, I won't get your voicemail until much after the fact.
  • Anything in my eyes. I count myself lucky for still having perfect vision. When the time comes that I need corrective lenses, I hope I'll look as hot as Tina Fey, because I'll wear glasses for the rest of my life.
  • Toilet flushers. I refuse to touch with my hands, always kick it with my shoes.
  • Speaking of bathrooms, the door handles of public restrooms. I always use papertowels to open the bathroom door.
  • Swimming in lakes. I'm afraid that I'm going to swim across a dead body. Too many horror movies, perhaps?
  • Movie theater seats. I'm very picky as to what seats I'll sit in. Because of this, I only go to newer movie theaters, and arrive early so that I can sit in a seat that doesn't gross me out.
  • Spiders. But I disagree that this fear is irrational.
  • Hotel room comforters. I've seen one too many dateline specials on this. As soon as I enter my hotel room, the comforter is stripped off the bed and put on the floor.

Okay, wow. I could keep going on, but I believe this is enough neurosis exposed for now.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with irrational fears?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Hell, I would have married Wanda!


*****What is contained hereafter is talk about season 1 of Big Love. If you have not seen this, but have every desire to, DO NOT READ ANY MORE OF THIS POST!!!*****


I finally finished watching Season 1 of Big Love.

WOW WOW WOW!!! I loved this series, and can't wait for more. I love how the HBO producers have such a knack for character development.

First thing's first. I loved the core women in this show. Everyone from Barb to Wanda to Bill's mom. I know that at first I had dislike towards Nikki, but that quickly changed. Hell, who doesn't love a woman who knows how to not only carry a washer out of her house, but fix it? I wonder if she will marry me??? I loved watching Nikki and the way she worked. I also loved Barb and Margie, for what each of their characters had to offer. I could easily see why Bill fell in love with each of them. And even though some of the wording or pronounciation was off "recoMEND", I still felt like so much of it was a nod to ex-mo's. There are so many things that you could only understand *AND* appreciate if you are a former mormon.

So, to summarize, I loved each character, and the developments they made throughout the story. Polygamy would be an extremely rough lifestyle, even if modernized, I couldn't really do it.

I do wonder about Barb, and what season 2 will bring. I hated that she was disqualified from the Mother of the Year award, that scene was rather heart breaking. I wonder what will turn out with Ben? I went from thinking that he had a thing for Margie, to thinking that he was possibly gay. And I think that Rhonda is a little Nikki in the making. The Alby character absolutely gave me the creeps, is it bad if I wanted him dead and loved Wanda for doing something to him?

Readers who have watched the show (and I know there are many of you), what say ye?

Saturday, December 02, 2006

You must believe me, this really is FUNNY!

"(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas"
from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Listen to the song HERE

Transcribed by Paul Ashley and Lisa Jenkins

[On the satellite:]

JOEL: I think it's kind of, uh, hot to be wearing these scarves in here.
TOM: Oh, yeah.
CROW: Well, scarves are a must. You can't go caroling without a scarf. Catch your death!
JOEL: Man, you were like one of those kids I remember in, uh, high school that used to sell the most candy bars for the marching band.
TOM: Yeah, and you'd be president of the swing choir, too.
CROW: Ha ha! Ah, thanks, Joel Robinson. Thanks, Tom Servo.
TOM: What a kiss-up, this guy.
CROW: Okay, now if you'll all look at your sheet music, uh, we can rehearse my new song.
JOEL: You wrote a Christmas song?
CROW: Hey, there's no tradition like a new tradition! Ha ha ha!
TOM: Um, wait a minute. "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas?"
CROW: Oh, yeah, yeah. Based on my favorite movie, Roadhouse.
TOM: C'mon, what the heck does PATRICK SWAYZE have to do with CHRISTMAS?!
CROW: Hey, you keep Christmas in your way, and let me keep it in mine, okay?
TOM: Oh, geeez.
JOEL: Hey, c'mon, Tom Servo, it seems like a nice enough sentiment and we can give it a shot. C'mon.
CROW: All right. Okay. Okay. Uh, 12/8 time, uh, key of A-flat major--
TOM: Good.
CROW: Uh, Cambot, shoot 'em the tune. Uh, okay, you'll just have to stay with me, everybody, okay? Uh, your part's written out. "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas", by Crow T. Robot.
JOEL: "Paul, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas"?
CROW: Right. Hit it, Cambot!
TOM: Oh! Oh, I start. I get it. Hmm.
CROW: I'm sorry.
TOM: Pick it up.

Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.

CROW: We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
TOM: Not bad!
JOEL: And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
'BOTS: We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.
TOM: Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
CROW: Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!
JOEL: Hold it, hold it a sec. Cambot, stop it. Uh, Crow, I don't know if I think this is an appropriate sentiment anymore for Christmas.
CROW: Hey, what? Like a good action sequence don't belong in Christmas?
JOEL: Well, no, it's just that I've never heard of an action sequence in a Christmas carol before.
TOM: Well, yeah!
CROW: Well, then grab hold o' your socks and read on, Joel Robinson!
TOM: Okay, pick it up from measure 20, Cambot. Lovely intro, though. Very tasteful.
CROW: Thank you.
TOM: I like that.

It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.

CROW: I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
JOEL: I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
'BOTS: I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh,
ALL: Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.

And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest
Christmas of them aaallllllllll!"

TOM: La la la laa ha HAAA!
CROW: How long before it becomes a standard?
JOEL: I think you gotta come with me. C'mon.
CROW: Waaaaah!
TOM: We'll be right back. Oooh. Save a leg for me! Heh heh heh.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older

I have a brother who is 10 years older than me, and we've always gotten along very well. When I was younger he absolutely spoiled me-- for instance, when I was in Kindergarten, he used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle and take me out to lunch. All of my friends thought I had the coolest brother, and I did!

My brother got into drugs and alcohol at a very young age, and he became an addict, who got worse with time. In his 20's, he was in and out of jail often. By the time he was 30, he found himself in prison, thanks to his illegal substances and fraud. Fast forward to today, he is now 11 years sober, has a gorgeous wife and three adorable children, a thriving career, beautiful home, and has completely repaid all of his debts to society. He truly is a changed man.

After my brother had been released for a couple of years, it was clear that he was well on his way to success. He and I were talking one day, and he knew how completely unhappy I was with about every aspect of my life. He said to me "I believe people are going to live thier lives however works for them. Until a person hits rock bottom and realizes the lifestyle can't continue, they won't work hard enough make the necessary changes." I was so pissed at him when he said this to me, I actually left the room, went into my bathroom, and cried. How dare he tell me that I wasn't working hard enough to change!

He was right. Approximately two years after this conversation, I was 27, and still hating so much about my life. I took a really hard look at myself, and figured out what I needed to do to make some changes. For those of you who know me now, you would not recognize the 27 year old Christy. I don't look, act, think, or feel the same. I'm a different person physically and mentally. I would post a picture to prove this fact, but I didn't allow pictures of myself to be taken back then. I hated myself, that much.

Ages 27-29 were pretty much hell for me in many aspects. It took that long to work really hard and change myself. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and so many times I wanted to give up, but it was I'm not saying I'm perfect now, far from it. I'm still a work in progress, and hope that will always be the case. I never want to stagnate! But I'm so much happier with me, and I know that my friends and family are as well.

The idea for this post came up when I was having a conversation with a friend who is very unhappy with his current state of life. He has so much desire to change, but doesn't know where to start or how to begin. He doesn't know if he's hit rock bottom or is still pinging against the sides, in transit. To him I say this: Take advantage of the time you have now to make the necessary changes. It's not going to be easy, nor is it going to be fun. "Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older" (thanks David Bowie!), and you may as well be a changed man by the time you get there. But do it for yourself, or else it's not gonna happen.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Public Service Announcement

Scrubs season 6 starts tonight!


Wednesday, November 29, 2006

It's a fine line

I feel like I've got a bit of writers block going. Life is crazy and hectic and wonderful, but I don't have a damn thing to write about. So here goes, just something I was thinking about today.

From Merriam-Websters online dictionary, the word "enable" is defined as 'to provide with the means or opportunity. To make possible, practical, or easy'. The word "assist" is defined as 'to give support or aid. To be present as a spectator'.

My mother, who is a behavior specialist, taught me at a very young age that there is a fine line between these two words. She told me that while it's good to be supportive, it's important to stay assertive enough to not cross the line into enabling the wrong behavior. I'm a rescuer, by nature. I genuinely love and care about the people I'm close to, and am the first to stand up for friends and family. I often have to remind myself to fight my own battles.

I have recently discovered that I am easy to enable. I think this is why I used to cling to prayer so much. It was easy for me to not get to the root of the problem and try to figure out what was causing my irrational fears, because I could just leave it up to god. This was the case in every moment of weakness, inadequacy, or stress. Instead of doing something to change or fix the situation, I prayed.

But wait! I've learned something about myself! I'm not a weak, incapable, stressful person. I have moments of insecurity and let myself believe that. On my recent cross-country flight, I actually did okay. I was a little scared at take off and landing or when we had turbulence, but I didn't freak out thinking my life was going to end. I think this happened because my husband wasn't sitting next to me, and I wasn't about to freak out to complete strangers. This morning I had to drive through several inches of unplowed snow to work, and I didn't freak or stress out once. This could not have been accomplished two years ago. The mere sight of a few snowflakes would cause immense stress about how I was going to get where I needed to go, to the point of even calling in sick because I couldn't handle it.

I'm not faulting those who pray or find comfort in that. I'm simply saying that if I'm stronger than I thought possible, then I believe this is the case for everyone else. It is my opinion that humans are a lot stronger than any kind of religion gives them credit to be. I have come into more comfort and peace with my own life being godless, than I ever did with a god.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

That's Dr. Ros to you

Shoutout to my friend Ros, who is defending her dissertation today. She has put in countless hours and worked her ass off for this, and I know she's going to blow them away.

Good luck today, Ros! Sending all positive vibes your way!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Chicken Curry

When our Sundays are not inundated with family gatherings, my husband and I like to try out new recipes. We made this one today and it is deeeeelicious, even if not too authentic.

1/2 cup unbleached all purpose flour
Salt & Pepper
3 boneless whole chicken breast halved
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 medium onion
2 cloves garlic
2 red peppers seeded and diced
3 tablespoons best quality curry powder
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 can cream of coconut
a dash of Tabasco sauce
a dash of Worcester sauce
1/2 cup currants

Gather up all the ingredients and preheat your oven to 350°F.
Finely chop the onion and mince the garlic cloves.
Seed and dice the red peppers.

Season the flour with S&P and lightly coat chicken with mixture. Heat 3 Tbl. butter in a skillet over medium heat, add chicken and lightly brown on all sides. Remove chicken from the skillet and preheat oven.

Add remaining 2 tablespoons butter to the skillet and melt over medium heat. Add onions, garlic, peppers and sauté, stirring frequently until the veggies are soft (5-7 minutes).

Stir in curry powder and cook 2 minutes longer.

Stir in tomatoes and cream of coconut, heat to simmering and season with Worcester sauce, Tabasco and S&P to taste. Stir in currants & remove from heat. (we did not use currants)

Arrange the sautéed chicken in a casserole and pour the curry sauce over the chicken bake covered until the chicken is tender, about 45 minutes.

We served this with a basmati rice. Yummy!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Ringo Starr married a Bond Girl!

True confession time: I've never seen a James Bond movie.
True confession time part deux: I never will see a James Bond movie.

I love movies, I even love most action flicks. For some reason I have never had the desire to see a James Bond movie. Five or six years ago I realized that I should probably just keep that tradition, so that I can continue to shock and amaze people. There were some brief rumors a while back that they may get Ewan McGregor to play the role of James Bond, in which case, would have created a severe temptation for me.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. With the exception of one sister and her family, my entire family was together. To give you an idea of just how major that is, my entire family has been in the same place at the same time, exactly four times since 1984. There are only 5 kids in my family, but we're all extremely different, and thanks to some Jerry Springer-ish stories, not very close. I'm the baby so everyone gets along with me, it's each other that they hate. Over the past few years they've worked out most of their difference and have agreed to disagree for the rest. My nieces and nephews are at an age where they are really fun to be around, and it makes me a little sad that they have to live so far away.

Last night my husband and I watched "Love Actually" while enjoying adult beverages and cuddling on the couch. I love love love that movie, there is a part of each one of the characters that I can identify with. I can relate to each story line on some level, from the little girl who plays the first lobster in her school nativity play, to the crochety old has-been rockstar. Besides, Colin Firth is in it, and he is soooo dreamy... *swoon*!

Looky here, another completely random post. I hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving filled with too much food and too much family. Now let's get pissed and watch porn!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Things like this only happen to me

Sorry for the two posts today. I wanted to blog about a strange phenomenon that only seems to happen to me. Please tell me if you can relate?

Okay, I'm really picky about food. If something grosses me out (which happens easily and frequently), I'll never eat it again. For instance, when I was about 5, one of my sisters stirred up a bowl of strawberry ice cream and told me it was throw up. To this day, I will not eat strawberry ice cream. I've had 2 attempts at eating breakfast burritos, and both times I found a hair in them (cooked at entirely different places). I will never again eat a breakfast burrito.

Today for lunch, I skipped out on going to La Fronterra with some co-workers, and walked to the cafeteria on premis with some others. After getting our food, two of them were talking about their days of fast food and putting dead flies on burgers and such. I said "I've got a weak stomach and can't handle stories like this, I'm going to step out of this conversation." and got to my desk as quickly as possible. I sit down, eat two bites, look down, and see it. A fly. A whole one. In my salad. :(

I took it back to the cafeteria, and the manager offered anything else that I wanted. I told him I lost my appetite for cafeteria food, so he gave me a refund, and I got baked doritos from the vending machine instead.

Ew. I'm still freaking out about it. I'll never have a salad from my cafeteria again. I should have gone to La Fronterra.

Obligatory post on Gratitude

With tomorrow being thanksgiving and all, I figured I'd post something that I'm grateful for today.

I wasn't in the mood to be sappy this morning, but as I was driving to work, I was struck by the beauty of what I saw. This was before 7AM, and the sun was rising. I was headed toward the mountains, and they were black silhouettes against a very clear pale blue sky. It was one of those moments that I was kicking myself for not having a camera, although I doubt I could have really captured that beauty. It is a gorgeous day in Salt Lake City. The weather is unseasonably warm, and I'm in a fabulous mood.

Because Danny Elfman is one of the gods that I worship, I'll post some Oingo Boingo lyrics. These lyrics really have no specific meaning to me, but I can't stop singing the chorus to myself today:


Life's been so good to me
Has it been good to you
Has it been everything
That you expected it to be
Was it as good for you
As it was good for me
And was it everything
That it was all set up to be
(Now is that gratitude)
Now is that gratitude
Or is it really love
Some kind of reality
That fits just like a glove
Now is that gratitude
For everything I've done
Or is it something else
That's got me on the run
In the middle of a big tornado
On the tip of everyone's tongue
In the belly of a giant whale
All the girls just wanna have fun
In the look of a frightened neighbor
In a big warm bed at night
In a broken elevator
In the teeth of a dog that bites
In the middle of a revolution
In the look of a child's face
In the silence of the dinner table
In the stillness of disgrace
(I used to eat little girls I knew
for breakfast
I used to fly high up in the sky
I used to chew up rocks and
spit out gravel
I had a heart as cold as ice)
But when I think of you
And what you've done to me
You took away my hope
You took away my fantasy
I once had lots of pride
The world was in my hands
I lived way at the top
Of castles made of sand
Ooh . . .
I dream of you sometimes
Ooh . . .
I dream of you sometimes
In the middle of a big tornado . . .
Life's been so good to me . . .

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Are they not the cutest??

I took my daughters to their annual Kiddie Kandids outing tonight. It's always worth it because they do such a great job, even if I end up spending way too much money.

Here are my daughters for their combo 5 year/holiday pictures (because I'm too damn cheap!)

It's okay if you tell me that your own children are cuter, but don't you dare tell me that your next door neighbors nieces sister in law has cuter kids. Because then I'll cry.

Monday, November 20, 2006

No matter what you do, you're wrong

In one of my first Blog posts, I talked about sitting back and allowing my daughters to make their own choices. For Halloween, they finally decided to be cowgirls. This surprised me because I don't have an ounce of country in me, but this was better than their alternative choices of Robots or Dragons. For their birthday they wanted an Easy Bake Oven (yay! I get to re-live my childhood with that! Even if it takes 44 minutes to bake 4 cookies, in addition to the 15 minutes of pre-heat time.), and Ben 10 watches, and a llama. A soft llama. They got everything they asked for andthensome, so I'm at a loss as to what I'll do for Christmas. But that's neither here nor there, carrying on...

Today when we were driving home after pre-school, one of them said "Mommy, when we get big like you, can we do whatever we want?" I replied "Yes, when you get older, you get to do and go wherever you want." So they started talking amongst themselves:
Emilie: We get to go into whatever stores we want and buy whatever toys we want!
Alexa: Right! And we can buy prizes for little kids all we want!
Me: Yes, when you get bigger, if you want to spend all of your money on toys, then that's your choice. But I think you'll grow out of wanting to buy toys at that point.

Which got me thinking. I distinctly remember when I was about their age, I thought to myself "I can't wait until I'm older, then I don't have to go to church ever if I don't want to!". Even though I didn't want to go to church, I forced myself for many years in order to keep my parents happy. I told myself that I liked it and that I was happy, but I wasn't. I didn't feel like I could make my own decisions until I was at the end of the rope.

Why do I still feel like I need to keep my parents happy with my life choices? My parents did a lot of things right when raising me. I had an ideal childhood filled with tremendous opportunities and a lot of love and fun, I have no right to complain. I was never spanked or grounded when being disciplined. I was, however, given severe guilt trips. My mom can be a master manipulator. In many ways, I think that is worse than spanking or grounding.

It's hard to let go. It's time for me to no longer allow what my parents think, to have any impact on my decisions. I hope that my daughters will have a sense of freedom of being.

In the meantime, does anyone know of a step by step instruction manual on how to raise your children, with proven success? Because I just know that regardless what I do, I'll manage to somehow royally fuck their lives up. How was I ever allowed to become a parent?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Big Love, take II

We're really slow. I don't watch TV very often as it is, so it's difficult for me to devote hours upon hours at a time. I'm only up to episode 5 of Big Love, "The Affair". I remember when this show first aired on HBO, this particular episode was all a buzz on the ex-mormon and post-mormon forums. Even though I avoided Big Love threads, I still noticed the chatter for this episode, and I can see why! It cemented each character into who they are. And Nicky... well I finally see what everyone else sees in her, she is a riot to watch! I still relate to Margene the most, because I've always been the youngest. I'm loving this show!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Happy 5th Birthday to my sweethearts!

Five years ago today my world was changed forever. I had an outrageously high blood pressure, so my OB/GYN insisted on delivering my babies as soon as they were healthy enough to thrive. I was not ready yet-- as much pain and discomfort I had, I loved being pregnant and I did not want it to end. However, my body had grown weary, and it was too dangerous to let it continue. Alexa and Emilie were born on November 18, 2001 at 9:29 and 9:31 AM. Alexa was 6lb 15 oz, Emilie was 5lb 10 oz. There was a weight difference due to a slight case of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I was very lucky that they were as big and healthy as they were. They were born at 35 weeks, 6 days.

I actually asked my OB for a c-section. Baby A was head down and ready to be born, but baby B was breech. I wasn't dialated or effaced at all, and I was told that they could try to induce labor, but chances are it wouldn't happen and I may end up needing a c-section anyway, since baby B was still breech. No way in hell did I want a vaginal birth and a c-section, so I opted for the safe bet.

The epidural didn't take on me, so I had to have a spinal block. When I was in the operating room, my husband was sitting next to me and breathing very heavy... he's somewhat of a medical wimp. I was feeling great on the spinal block, and didn't feel like I needed him there, so I told him to leave, I was fine. I didn't want to worry about my body being cut open and him passing out. He stood at the door and watched while my anesthesiologist stood over me and gave me the play by play details of my daughters being born. "I see the first head... she has curly blonde hair! I see the second head... and she has curly blonde hair too!" Here they are, a few hours after birth (sorry the picture is small... all of my pictures are in storage right now and this is the best I could come up with):

After they were born, we became a freak show, and I can slightly understand what it's like to be a celebrity. We had people visiting us in the hospital, nonstop. We finally had to ask the nurses to not allow any more visitors, because my blood pressure wasn't going down and I wasn't getting any rest. People that I hardly knew wanted to come see the identical babies. Going to the store, restaurant, on a walk... it didn't matter. Complete strangers would see identical babies and come up to me asking me the most personal questions about my family history and fertility. I got used to it for the most part. I still have people who stare at us when I take them places, but we don't mind. The attention is harmless and comments are usually very kind.

Here they are one year ago... I'll post new pics after they're taken:

I'm so lucky to have them. My daughters are the brightest, most intelligent, and downright funny little girls I've ever had the pleasure to know, let alone raise. They are each others best friend, which is exactly what I hoped for when I found out I was pregnant with twin girls.

Here's the cake I made them for their birthday:

As a sidenote, today is also the anniversary of my first date with my husband, we've been together for 11 years. I suppose I should go make out with him or something.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Future Casanova in the making

Last night I went shopping at Old Navy alone, and got there right before they closed. Oh yes, I was one of those customers. I was walking through the store really fast to get to where I needed to go, and there were only a few other shoppers. A little boy, not more than 6 years old, walked up to me and said "Hey, if you have any daughters, would you have them call me?" while raising his eyebrows. WTF? I'm not sure how to take this. He was with his dad, and I didn't notice if his dad was single or not. Anyway, that's a line I've never heard.

Switching gears. Every day it's becoming more and more clear to me that I'm a doofus. I have two stories:

The other day I was in an elevator, and the doors closed and I started hearing the song "Beautiful Day". I was thinking "Yes, I love this song! This is going to be a great day!" and I was smiling. I got out of the elevator and started walking down the hall when I realized that my ringtone for general calls is set to "Beautiful Day". I missed an important work-related phone call. Ugh! I've never been blonde, what's my excuse?

When I was in NYC, I bought myself some shot glasses as a souvenir. The store clerks wrapped them in brown paper sacks, and I haven't unpacked or looked at them since. Last night I was wanting to use my new shot glasses (don't ask), and got them out. They were totally NOT the design I remembered buying or wanting. Then I remembered that I bought them right after I drank half of a bottle of wine at dinner. In the future, I should probably not shop after drinking.

How's this for a random post? Happy Friday, everyone!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Make new friends, but keep the old

Yesterday I heard from a former college roommate of mine. I'll refer to her as Patsy, even though that's not her real name. If she reads this, she'll know I'm referring to her and what the reference is. She's the Patsy to my Eddie (From Ab Fab). Patsy was quite possibly the coolest roommate a girl could have, and the only roommate that I make any effort to keep in touch with... even though at times we go months or even years between speaking. She's good people.

Patsy's little sister found my myspace profile and sent it to her. I have not had the chance to talk to Patsy about my disaffection before, and I'm quite open about it on myspace-- even though I don't use myspace anymore, and only used it very little in the past.

Patsy called me yesterday and said "I ran across your myspace profile... what's up??" I gave a high level overview of what happened, and where we are now. I was a little scared to talk to her about it. Her first marriage was to a Jewish man and her family all but disowned her in the process. They went through a divorce, and she remarried in the temple to a liberal TBM. Six years ago she would have been the first person I would have called after I discovered the fraud, but I figured now she must have completely changed and I didn't want to make things weird between us.

We had a really great conversation, and I discovered that Patsy's been living the NOM (New Order Mormon) lifestyle, so I gave her a link to that board. This is how she keeps the peace with her parents and husband, but she has no problem enjoying a margarita or glass of wine. I know her parents quite well, and I completely understand and respect her decision. It was a huge relief to me to find out that she is the same person that I've always known and loved... not that I expected any different, but it was nice to have it confirmed.

Patsy and I have had some really good times together. There was the time we snuck out of our house to go to campus and participate in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show", because we knew our housemates wouldn't approve of our watching a rated R movie. There was also the time that we got 3 recent RM's to skinny dip with us in her parents swimming pool. She used to go with me to my music labs, and I would sit behind her in her 4 hour art classes to keep her company. She didn't care when I watched Melrose Place or 90210, and I got a kick out of watching Ghostbusters I & II with her on a weekly basis, while she quoted every.single.line.

She paid me the highest compliment... she said "When I found out about you, I was not shocked at all. You have always been so open minded and non-judgemental, so this is not surprising to me." She also made the comment that I was one of her only friends that didn't condemn her to hell when I found out she wasn't getting married in the temple.

Cheers to old friends! I gave Patsy a link to my blog... we'll see if she reads it! ;-)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My little freaks of nature

Five years ago today I had an amniocentesis. My OB/GYN wanted to check on the lungs of my babies to see if he could safely remove them from my body. He sent me home to rest and wait for a phone call, however I didn't make it home before being rushed to labor and delivery due to the severe cramping of my uterus. With this memory, I figured I would tell you about the shock of finding out I was pregnant with twins.

I had a very uneventful pregnancy. I wasn't very sick, I hadn't gained any weight, and I was a very happy and healthy mommy to be. My husband actually likes me better when I'm pregnant, apparently I'm nicer. I went to a check-up at 18 weeks, and my OB/GYN mentioned in passing "You're measuring 19 weeks, but that's not so uncommon. We'll continue to closely monitor your growth. Make an appointment for an Ultra Sound for next week, and I'll see you next month."

I mentioned this to my oldest sister who is psychic but she won't admit it, and she suggested "maybe you're pregnant with twins?" I said "That's not possible, twins don't run in either of our families and I didn't have any fertility troubles". "That doesn't matter," she said, "twin pregnancies can be spontaneous". I brushed it off, and bought a crib the next day.

The day of my ultrasound, I drank too much water. The technician was running very late, and I was in tears in the waiting room. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn't walk, I just really really really wanted to pee but I wasn't allowed. The receptionist told me I could go let a little bit out, and I was highly offended. As if I could just pee a little!

It's finally my turn, and I'm accompanied by my husband, my mom, and my oldest sister. I get the jelly rubbed all over my belly, and the technician started her work. "Have you been in here before?" she asked me. I hadn't. She was pressing too hard and I was miserable. Then my mom said "Why does it look like there's two heads on that screen?" The technician said "That's because there are!". WHAT?!?!?

I pretty much freaked out right there on the table. "That's not possible! Twins don't run in our families! I didn't do anything for fertility! We didn't plan for two, we planned for one! I just bought a crib! I can't be pregnant with twins! That's NOT POSSIBLE!" My husband was standing to the side of me and he had a look of pure shock on his face. His jaw was to the floor. He didn't look happy, he didn't look sad. He was just.shocked. My mom and sister were both crying and getting excited and already making plans... "We're going to go buy you a matching crib today! And clothes! Have we determined the sexes yet?"

At this point, the technician could tell that baby A was a girl, but she couldn't figure out baby B. After she took all the necessary measurements and confirmed that both babies were growing very well and all was fine in womb land, she asked me if I wanted her to try to get baby B to the surface so she could determine the sex. At this point I really didn't care, I was too shocked and I really had to pee.

After leaving the Dr's office my mom told anyone who was in earshot that I was pregnant with twins. She immediately got on her phone and called every single person on her speed dial to spread the news. My husband and I went home in pure shock. "What the hell are we gonna do now? This wasn't part of the plans!"

The next 24 hours were pure emotion. I felt every single emotion that has ever been defined, and then some. Truth be told, I was mostly depressed. I never hoped for twins, and this was going to completely change our lives forever. But at the same time, this was like winning the lottery.

I'm still tripping out over the fact that I have twins... but I love it. I get to witness a special bond that most people never really get to see. I mourned the fact that I never got that one on one bonding with my babies, but I got to see the bond that my daughters share with each other. I remember when they were 4 months and I started them on rice cereal, they would always reach for each others hand before eating.

Luckily the amnio didn't put me in labor, and my OB/GYN wanted the lungs to develop for a few more days before he put my body out of its misery (I had pregnancy induced hypertension). I was sent home to do nothing more than lay in bed or get up to pee. And he wouldn't let me go see Harry Potter the next day, which really sucked because I changed my Dr's appointments around just for that reason. I blame it on Harry Potter.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

It's Lyrics time... Is it Any Wonder?

I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
Be living in the kingdom of the good and true
and so on

but now I think how I was wrong
And you were laughing along
And now I look a fool for thinking you were on, my side

Is it any wonder I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right

It's hard to know where I stand
It's hard to know where I am
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand

But sometimes
I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time
Where love is just a lyric in a children rhyme, a soundbite

Is it any wonder that I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
oh, these days
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed

Nothing left inside this old cathedral
Just the sad lonely spires
How do you make it right

Oh, but you try
Is it any wonder I'm tired
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right
oh, these days
After all the misery you made
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed

Guilty Pleasure Confession, Take I

I'm more giddy about this than should be allowed by law. When I was in high school, I was a closet 90210 fan. I couldn't admit to watching this show, because it wasn't very goth, and I was so totally. It wasn't until my first year of college that I started admitting to people that I watched 90210 and Melrose Place faithfully. I would actually re-arrange my plans so that I wouldn't miss these shows.... I know, very pathetic.

Here is my chance to re-live my high school and college years:

I actually graduated high school the same year as the 90210 and Saved By The Bell kids... class of '93! Last night I watched the first episode of 90210 and saw all those fashions... may they rest in peace FOREVER in 1990, please????

Sunday, November 12, 2006

My Chocolate Orgasm (Day 3)

My last day in New York City. We had a flight out of Newark in the late afternoon, so we had a few hours to kill in the morning. My gracious and gorgeous friend, Meg Slate, offered to take that day off of work and spend some time with us showing us around the city, taking us where we wanted to go. Vendor Jeff was exhausted and had a long drive back to Boston that day, so he stepped out of the picture and gave us instructions on how to get into the city ourselves... scary thought! So we took the Path from Jersey City back into the financial district.

Ground Zero in the day:

The company I work for is headquarted right across the street from this, but they wouldn't allow me to take pictures of the front of the building, here is one on the side:

From behind this building, they have spectacular views. Here is the Statue of Liberty at a distance:

And a cool new building... but I don't know what it's called:

From here we walked down Broadway and over to Chinatown:

Even though Meg warned us of the aggressive sales approach, my co-worker was really freaked out and wanted to get out of there ASAP, so we caught the next subway over to Union Square. Meg knew of a fantastic restaurant called Max Brenner, where everything on the menu is made of chocolate. They did have a short menu of regular lunch type items, but if you're at a chocolate restaurant, who can think of a turkey sandwich?

Inside of the restaurant with the chocolate looking pipes:

Meg and I together:

Pausing for just a moment to gush over Meg. I have seen several pictures of her before, but this was our first real life meeting. While she is very photogenic and takes a great picture, they simply do not do her justice. This woman is GORGEOUS. She is tall, thin, graceful, so very hip New Yorker. Here's a cool fact: She can take the subway steps two at a time, while my co-worker and I were grasping for breath to keep up! Meg, thanks again for taking the time to show us around! This afternoon was a major highlight of our trip!

Here is the chocolate orgasm that Meg and I shared...

And we're so naughty together, we had to get dessert, too!:

After this, it was time to head back to Jersey City to catch our flight. Meg gave us instructions on how to take the Subway back to the WTC (once again on our own, yikes!!), and off we went.

Some final shots:

Surrounding the front of Ground Zero are pictures that memorialize that day:

The last thing you see going down the stairs into the PATH:

After this we caught a flight to Virgina where we spent the next two days. The trip to Virginia was a little more relaxing since we didn't do much more than work related stuff... so I won't blog about it. Thanks everyone for indulging me in wanting to talk about my trip! Back to our regularly scheduled programming....

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Fairytale of New York (Day 2)

On Monday morning we visited our vendors plant in Jersey City. This is the view from outside their front doors. I'm going to make this picture large so you can see the specific building that I'm going to write about:

The background is the Manhattan skyline. Near the middle of this picture there is a thin lightpole. To the very left of the lightpole, is a building with a pointed green roof. Please let me know if you aren't able to see what I'm talking about. This is the Woolworth Building, completed in 1913. At that time, this was the tallest building in the world. However, this building was not visible by the employees of the Jersey City plant until September 11, 2001... obviously because the twin towers were in front of it. The morning of September 11th, an employee driving to work noticed that one of the towers was on fire, so he ran into work and had everyone come out and look. The entire staff was sitting in the parking lot looking at the burning building, when they heard a very loud rumble. They looked up, and the second plane was on it's way to Tower 2. They stood there and watched the plane crash into the building. They had to close the plant down for 3 days and have grief counselors readily available for the staff. I can't imagine being right there and witnessing such an event.

We spent the morning at the plant, then we took some of the employees to lunch at an authentic Italian restuarant in Jersey City. It all felt very Soprano's, I loved it. Then we spent the afternoon touring our companies Distribution Center, which is Northern NJ. Our vendor couldn't tour that with us, so he sat in the cafeteria with his virtual office and said he'd make reservations for us to eat at Sardi's that night. When the tour was over, he told us that Sardi's is closed on Monday nights because it's part of the Theater district, so he made reservations for us at Tavern On The Green instead. WHAT?!?! You mean the restaurant made famous in Breakfast at Tiffany's??? The one and the same:

There was an event there the day before which is why there are tents around it. Bummer that I couldn't get a better picture.

That evening we drove into Jersey City to take the Path into the Financial District. This drive in was too incredible for words. The skies were clear, not a cloud to be seen. The moon was full and orange, and was right above the skyline. I tried to get pictures, but pictures do not do the moon or the buildings justice. I promise you, this was the biggest moon I have ever seen, and the view was magnificent:

The Path (like the subway) actually wraps around Ground Zero at the bottom, so I got to see the whole thing from every angle. Unfortunately I couldn't take pictures on the moving train, so that's just going to have to be images for my own memory. Everything else is surrounded with netting and fences so the pictures I got are very few and not very good or detailed, but I did what I could:

After looking at Ground Zero and the building that my company is headquartered in, we caugh a cab to take us to Central Park, where Tavern On The Green is located. The cab driver says "Where to?" "Tavern on the Green at Central Park!" Jeff, my vendor, said.

Cab Driver: Tavern On The Green? That place is expensive! And the food is not very good, it's just impressive to people from places like Alabama or Missouri.
Me: Or Utah.
Cab Driver: You're from Utah? They have a very liberal Mayor in Salt Lake City!
Me: yes, Rocky Anderson is a liberal. He's done some good for the city, but he's getting out of politics soon. How do you know about Utah's politics?
Cab Driver: I read all about it in the New York Times. They don't have a lot of African American's in SLC, do they? (he was African American)
Me: No, they don't. It's a pretty whitebread place.
Cab Driver: You know they have that LDS church there, and Hinckley. Hinckley keeps all of the money of the Pakistani's and Saudi's.
Me: Oh really? Now that's something I haven't heard of.
Cab Driver: Oh, it's true! I read about it in the New York Times!
Jeff the Vendor: Speaking of Mormon churches, look, there's the Temple!
Me: Huh? Oh. Are we at Central Park soon?
Of course at this point I was giggling and had to send text messages to my husband to let him know about this conversation. It was too funny to find a NYC cab driver that seemed to know all about Utah's politics and even facets about the mormon church that I never heard of.

After our fabulous dinner, we walked outside of Central park and around the south end. Apparently Macaulay Culkin lives in this building:

Lucky bastard.
Immediately after taking this picture, I looked right in front of me and saw this:

One of many horses just waiting to take you on a carriage ride through Central Park. Would have been fun, but not this trip.

After we were done walking past the park, we walked down 5th Avenue. Our escort, Vendor Jeff, thought he'd just show us a few of the shops and then we'd catch a cab back to Penn Station. But he kept thinking of more and more that he wanted to show us. We took a detour over to Grand Central Station, with the stunning view of the Chrylser building behind it:

Our ultimate destination on this walk was to get to this beauty:

If you're familiar with NYC (and so many of you are!) this means we walked from the south end of Central Park, down 5th Avenue, over to Grand Central Station and back to 5th Avenue, past the NYC public library (my picture of that sucked), over to the Empire State Building, in front of Macy's, where eventually we got to Penn Station to catch the Path back to Jersey City. I'm bummed I didn't get a picture of our train conductor. She was an adorable girl from New Jersey complete with attitude. The conductors hat barely fit on her head, she couldn't be more than 19. But she was doing her job and doing it very well. She put up with a lot more shit than I would any day, but she did it with New Jersey girl attitude.

Tomorrow I'll tell you about my day trip into the city without vendor Jeff as our escort, where I met Meg Slate and had a chocolate orgasm. You know you want to stay tuned for that!

Taking a short break from bragging to brag yet again

So I'm driving around doing errands today, and who calls me? Only the swankiest, sexiest, most intelligent and witty man of the DAMU. Oh, and have you seen his wife? Definitely the luckiest man, as well. As pure luck would have it, he is in town from San Francisco, and just happened to be right in the same area as me at the same time. Of course I'm talking about Corey, aka Mayan Elephant:

We got to hang out at Starbucks for a bit and talk while our girls ate pastries.
YAY!!! Now what do I need to do to get Corey to visit my blog.....???? Do I need to start flirting with his wife more aggressively, because if so, that's not a problem. She sent me text messages while I was on my trip that made me blush. Good times, good times! :)

In New York you can forget how to sit still

In New York freedom looks like too many choices
In New York I found a friend to drown out the other voices
(New York~U2)

As you now know, I'm back from my trip to New York City. This wasn't my first trip to the city, but my first trip in several years. It definitely won't be several years before I go back. In fact, if my friends Meg and Jack Slate aren't careful with how kind they are to me, they may find a permanent houseguest sleeping on their living room floor.

Wow. The trip was out of this world spectacular. It started off on the wrong foot- our plane was an hour delayed and the turbulence for the first half of the flight was bad. I traveled with a co-worker, so when I say we or our, that's who I'm referencing. We had a vendor meeting us at the airport with plans to take us into the city for dinner and a show. Because our flight was so late and that airport is HUGE and took forever to get out of, we made it into the heart of Manhattan after the curtain had risen. Our vendor gave us a choice... sit in the holding room until intermission to see the rest of the show, or forget about it and explore Times Square. As much as I love broadway, we decided to skip the show and walk the city. Everything got better from here on out.

Our first night we bummed around Times Square:

Our Vendor wanted to take us to Sardi's but it had already closed by the time we got there, so we went to Gallagher's instead. This was the same day as the NYC Marathon, and about 50 of the marathon runners had dinner at the same restaurant. This was quite possibly the best $40 steak that I've ever had. Wait, it's the only $40.00 steak I ever had. Joe Dimaggio had a table there that was always reserved for him, even until he died a few years ago:

The bartender at this place ended up being one of my favorite NYC moments. He took sympathy on us because we had to wait for all of the marathon groups to be seated, so he gave us free drinks to bide our time. He was an older man, full of charisma, funny as can be, and so very New York. I was told that a job as a bartender or a waiter at a restuarant like this is very difficult to come by, they make a good living and don't give up their spots until they're dead.

We walked all over Times Square this night... I got to see so many places like Rockefeller Center:

The Christmas Tree will go behind the flags, up above the golden god, in front of the NBC tower, in two weeks from now.

I was also amazed by St. Patricks Cathedral:

I think I took 40 pictures inside of this place. All of the work and details that have gone into this cathedral are stunning.

At this point my ears were cold and feet were killing me, but I refused to pay attention to that-- how often do I get an all expense paid trip to NYC? Never. We walked until well after midnight before we decided to go to the hotel. I learned that the reputation of 90% of New Yorkers is unjust... eye contact and a genuine smile go a long way with them. Also, traffic signals don't mean all that much. Just be careful of the yellow cabs, because they will kill you.

I'm realizing now that this post is huge and I'm probably losing people at this point. I'll blog more about my next night, probably tomorrow, of course with more pictures (I only took 169 pictures in the 2 nights and 1 afternoon that I spent in the city).

Here are some parting shots, some more of my favorite pics from this first night. I had a cool one of me standing in front of the Ed Sullivan Theater (The Late Show with David Letterman), but I'm having technical issues at the moment:

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I'm home

I'm exhausted and going to bed soon, but I wanted to post a quick message to say that I made it home safe and sound. I'll update tomorrow with some pictures... my trip was simply beyond fantastically unbelievable (if such a sentence exists). I'm still pinching myself to make sure I didn't dream the whole thing.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Big Love

Because we're major losers who don't subscribe to HBO, I was eager to buy Big Love as soon as it came out on DVD. I've been so busy lately that I've only had the chance to watch the first two episodes (just got done with the second one). WOW! I'm loving this show so far. Early impressions-- the youngest wife is hot. I really like her. I like Barb, the oldest wife, too. I detest Nicky, the middle wife. She is everything I hate in a woman. I love all of the inner references to mormonism, I feel like it's a nod to us ex-mormons. I finally understand what all of the hype from this show is about. I can't wait to see it played out. I did learn one important lesson from the second episode: Oral is Moral. I couldn't agree more.

On that note, this is my last post for a few days. I'm sneaking on now while my husband isn't paying attention, the greedy bastard wants me all for himself tonight (I'm kidding about him being a bastard, lay off!).

I'll be back in a few days! Cheers for now! :)

Prepare for your hearts to melt

Weird... I posted this last night and it was still there this morning. I think blogger had a major hiccup. I'll try to re-cap what I said.

5 years ago this week I was put on strict bedrest (yet I STILL went to church... go figure!), and two weeks from today, my daughters will be 5. I've been pretty sentimental thinking about it, I'm amazed at how fast time flies. We took this picture a little over 4 years ago, and it's one of my favorite pictures of them, ever. Unfortunately it's just a scanned copy so the colors and sharpness aren't as brilliant as I would like.

The one on the right, in the pink sweater, is the one who drew the bat.

Since I get to do this post twice, I'll add another picture... another one of my favorites. They were about 8 months here, and my father in law snapped this at just the right moment. I call this picture "Dramedy":

This picture cracks me up every time I see it... this time it's the one on the left who is bawling that drew the bat.

Ros, to answer your question in the comments, there is no family history of twins, nor did we have any fertility issues. I like to call them "my little freaks of nature". I'll post more about the shock I experienced when I found out I was expecting twins another time.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fear of Flying

I leave for my business trip on Sunday. I'm freaking out, just a little, over the flight. I used to love flying. I LOVED flying. I've been flying my entire life. A few years ago my husband and I took a trip to Disneyworld, and on the way back, we hit some really bad turbulence. I realized, now that I have kids, I have too much to live for. Ever since then, flying has been terrifying for me. Last summer I took 2 xanax before boarding a cross country flight, and was still on edge the entire time. I've been thinking about my upcoming flight while at work today, and it's making me forget what I'm doing or I'll leave things in the wrong places, because I'm more focused on breathing and not passing out.

That being said, my super amazingly gorgeous fantastic intelligent friend Shannon (a woman who can really make my head turn...) told me about EFT therapy. Shannon said that it's worked wonders for her, and apparently can be used for several different needs. I think I'll try it out this weekend.

A few years ago, I would have simply prayed, thinking that if I were to die then it must be God's will. I always felt like that was a slap in the face.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I wish I had Rebecca's title writing skills

I just don't have the energy to defend myself today. I'm working late, and was listening to my iPod when this song came on. It struck me so I thought I'd post the lyrics. Have I mentioned lately how much I *heart* The Killers?


Aggressively we all defend the role we play
Regrettably time's come to send you on your way
We've seen it all bonfires of trust flash floods of pain
It doesn't really matter don't you worry it'll all work out
No it doesn't even matter don't you worry what it's all about
We hope you enjoyed your stay
It's good to have you with us, even if it's just for the day
We hope you enjoyed your stay
Outside the sun is shining, seems like heaven ain't far away
It's good to have you with us
Even if it's just for the day
It's good to have you with us even if it's just for the day
Outside the sun is shining, seems like heaven ain't far away
It's good to have you with us
Even if it's just for the day
It's good to have you with us even if it's just for the day
Outside the sun is shining, seems like heaven ain't far away

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

She gets these skillz from me!

I'm married to an artist. It was actually one of his pickup lines on me. After he met me for the first time, he told me I had nice eyebrows. "WHAT?!?!" I said... his response was "You have really nice eyebrows. I'm an artist and I notice these things." Cue the sound effects... "Awwwww...."

I, on the other hand, can not draw a straight line with a ruler. I'm creatively challenged in pretty much every aspect, truth be told. I was hoping that my daughters would inherit my husbands artistic abilities, but sadly, it appears as though at least one of them got mine.

Below is a picture that my daughter drew on her treat bag from her pre-school Halloween party:

When I saw this bag I asked her what it was. She said that the blue thing on top is a spider. Okay, I can get that. "What's below your spider, sweetheart?" "That's a bat, mommy".

Wow. Um, wow.


I have much guilt over the embarrassing amounts of chocolate I consumed yesterday. I was hit with a triple header-- not only was it Halloween so I had all of that candy at my house, but I work with a man whose wife is an executive for a well known chocolate company on the east coast, and he brought in loads of samples. Then I had another co-worker return from Hawaii with several boxes of those yummy chocolate covered macadamia nuts.

Interesting factoid from my co-workers chocolate executive wife: Utah leads the nation in chocolate consumption. I knew we had ice cream and Jell-O, but I didn't know we had chocolate as well. I can only stake claim to helping one of these areas achieve such great heights.

Don't move
Don't talk out-a time,
Don't think
Don't worry, everything's just fine
Just fine.
Don't grab
Don't clutch
Don't hope for too much
Don't breathe
Don't achieve
Don't grieve without leave.
Don't check, just balance on the fence
Don't answer
Don't ask
Don't try and make sense.
Don't whisper
Don't talk
Don't run if you can walk,
Don't cheat, compete
Don't miss the one beat.
Don't travel by train
Don't eat
Don't spill
Don't piss in the drain
Don't make a will.
Don't fill out any forms
Don't compensate
Don't cover
Don't crawl
Don't come around late
Don't hover at the gate
Don't take it on board
Don't fall on your sword
Just play another chord
If you feel you're getting bored
Don't change your brand
Don't listen to the band
Don't gape
Don't ape
Don't change your shape
Have another grape
Don't plead
Don't bridle
Don't shackle
Don't grind
Don't curve
Don't swerve
Don't lie, die, serve
Don't theorise, realise, polarise
Chance, dance, dismiss, apologise
Don't spy
Don't lie
Don't try
Start again
Don't triumph
Don't coax
Don't cling
Don't hoax
Don't freak
Don't leak
Don't speak
Don't project
Don't connect
Don't expect
Don't project
Don't connect
Don't expect
Don't struggle
Don't jerk
Don't collar
Don't work
Don't wish
Don't fish
Don't teach
Don't reach
Don't borrow
Don't break
Don't fence
Don't steal
Don't pass
Don't press
Don't try
Don't feel
Don't touch
Don't dive
Don't suffer
Don't rhyme
Don't fantasise
Don't rise
Don't lie
Don't project
Don't connect
Don't expect
Don't project
Don't connect
Don't expect

I feel numb.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

If I ruled the world

I grew up thinking that I was going to become a goddess of my own world, if I lived worthily enough. Every now and then I would think "When I get my own world, I'm going to do things this______ way".

Here are some things that I would do if I ruled my own world.

  • Putting shoes on furniture would be an offense punishable by death. (I take my clean furniture seriously)
  • Babies would sleep through the night from the get-go.
  • Speaking of babies, you would have to fill out the proper paperwork and take certain classes before you're allowed to get pregnant. And pregnancy could be carried by either the man or the woman, whichever is more convenient.
  • Orgasms would last longer.
  • When you turn 35, you get the option of picking one year of your life to go back and live over, knowing then what you know now. When the year is over, you get a preview of what your life would be like if you did things differently, and then you can choose which of the years you want to keep in your memory bank.
  • It would be possible to travel via apparation, floo powder, or portkey.

I reserve the right to add more to this list at a later time.

Monday, October 30, 2006

My last post about the Halloween Party

I've talked about this party way too much, so I'll just post this picture (I found one that I didn't totally hate) and be done with it. Stay tuned for me to post a picture of a bat that my daughter drew at pre-school. It is hi-LAR-ious.

Here I am in costume:

The guy I'm with is just some dude that I'm married to. Ha, kidding. He was amazing as Brandon Flowers.