Monday, July 28, 2008

If that's what you're into!

This past weekend was glorious. The time spent in Park City with my friends was incredible, and ended all too soon. I hope we do this again next year! We had some great conversations, great food, fun times, dancing, coaster riding, zip-lining, hiking, hot tubbing, cops being called on us....

Oh yeah. The cops were called on us, TWICE! Once it was because some of the cars were parked diagonally (we did the best we could with limited pace. We ultimately accomodated the neighbors, even though the patrol said we were just fine.) The second time, the cops found us sitting in the living room and talking, listening to Enya. Yeah, big threat. At 8:30 at night!! oooooh. Be careful. Clearly, the cops saw nothing wrong, once again.

Unfortunately, because I took up running a month ago, my knees were in bad shape. I ignored the pain for so long, that by saturday, they were mostly out of comission. I had to use my upper body strength everywhere I went. I was in severe pain! Luckily, one of my friends is a doctor, and he called in a perscription of Lortab for me.

I spent saturday afternoon/evening on Lortab while everyone else went to a free reggae concert. These pills made me very, very happy and loopy. I sat and watched several episodes of "Flight of the Conchords". The following scene made me laugh SO MUCH, that I had to share it.

If you want me to, I can hang 'round with you
If I only knew, that's what you're into

You and him, him and you
If that's what you're into
Him hangin' round, around you
You hangin' round, yeah you're there too

And if you want me to, I will take off all my clothes for you
I'll take off all my clothes for you
If that's what you're into

How 'bout him in the nude?
If that's what you're into
In the nude in front of you
Is that what you'd wanna view?

If it's cool with you, I'll let you get naked too
It could be a dream come true, providing that's what you are into

Is that what you're into?
Him and you in the nude?
That's what he's prepared to do
Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?

And then maybe later we'll get hot by the refrigerator
In the kitchen next to the pantry
You think that might be what you fancy?

In the buff, bein' rude
Doin' stuff with the food
Gettin' nude with his food
We heard that's what you are into

Then on our next date
well you could bring your roommate
I don't know if Stu is keen to
But maybe we could double team you

How 'bout you and two dudes?
Him, you, and Stu in the nude
Bein' lewd with two dudes with food
Well that's if Stu's into it too

All the things I do
The things I'd do for you
If I only knew, that's what you're into

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Time for R&R

I've been pretty stressed lately, have had a lot on my mind. Work's been busy, and yes, I'm still working out physically. I haven't blogged about it because I don't want to jinx it... but truth be told, life can only be great if you work at it. Things just don't come easily. At least not for me!

This weekend, some of my friends are embarking of our annual summer trip together. Last year we went to Las Vegas, and discovered that the most fun we had, was when we were all together, talking, relaxing, just having fun. This year, we decided to make our trip to Park City. It's close! Inexpensive! Fun!!!

We've rented a really great house just off of Main Street, we'll be in walking distance of most things. Some are planning on white water rafting, others are looking forward to outlet shopping. I hope to fit in a nice hike. Regardless, it's going to be great! I'm just looking forward to the rest, relaxation, and surrounding myself with some of my most favorite people for a few days.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Monday, July 21, 2008

I know Shakespeare is a dead white guy, but he knows his shit!

I love Shakespeare. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Shakespeare. William Shakespeare had a way with words, bar none to anyone else. Most importantly, no one can throw an insult like Shakespeare. While I love some of the modern day adaptations, I'm pretty much a purist. I don't need his words "Dumbed Down" for me. I take sincere pleasure in his lacy, frilly bitterness.

Some of my favorite Shakespeare insults:

Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great.

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.

Drop into the rotten mouth of death.

Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!

Thou art a wretch whose natural gifts were poor.

Thy kiss is comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake.

Come, you are a tedious fool. To the purpose.

Thou art unfit for any place but hell.

There is one modern day adaptation that I adore, on so many levels. This is the movie, "10 Things I Hate About You". This movie rocked my world from my first viewing of it. I've been told by many people, from different aspects of my life, that Julia Stiles character reminds them of me. I can't deny it-- I watch this movie and see myself, both in looks and attitude.

I won't explain why. Just watch the movie. :) 10 Things I Hate About You is an adaptation of "Taming of the Shrew".

"Just because you're beautiful, doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter!"

"Have you always been this selfish?"

"Remove head from sphincter, THEN drive!"

"Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?"

"Don't, for one minute, think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties."

"'Heinous bitch' is the term used most often."

"Why can't you be NORMAL?!?!"

"Where did you come from? Planet "Loser"?

"Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action."

"Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it."

"What is it, Asshole Day?"

I confess, I watched this movie tonight, not just for Shakesperean adaptation greatness, but out of memory of Heath Ledger. This was the first movie I noticed him in, and have loved him since. His passing shocked me and saddened me greatly. He was phenominal in everything he's done. No, I haven't seen "The Dark Knight" yet, but I can't wait.

RIP Heath Ledger. He was more than just an amazing actor.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Facebook, Past Relationships, Guilty Pleasures... and other random thoughts

I'm working from home today, to test my employers catastrophe continuation plan. I've got VH1's top 20 playing in the background, for mindless noise. Don't judge- daytime TV really sucks and if I pop in a DVD, I'll be watching that and not working. (No, I'm not working right now, just taking a break!)

So one of the songs in the Top 20 is by the Pussycat Dolls. They're a guilty pleasure of mine, so I watched the video. If I had the looks and body to get away with what they do, you BET I would! I can't remember the name of the song, but the catchy chorus said something to the effect of "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it". This has always been a favorite saying of mine, because it's so true. We spend our lives wishing for, hoping for, wanting wanting WANTING, and then what happens when we get it? Either it fails to meet our expectations, or we tire of it and want more more MORE! It's like a dog or cat chasing their tail.

It reminded me of some of my past relationships, and the boys/men that I've pined for. Just like my most recent post of finding my dear Alexa on Facebook, I've also found past relationships and major crushes there. It's voyeuristically thrilling for me to peak in on their lives. I won't mention their names now like I have in the past, because I'm talking of how I see them today. One guy I'm still crushing on, and probably always will. He's turned into an amazing man who has done very well for himself. Even if he's a [self proclaimed] right wing nutjob, he's still sexy as hell (all in the intellect, baby!), and if he weren't happily married, I'd try to make my make-out fantasy happen. Another guy is the one that I have always wondered "What if....?" about. Now that I've had a peak into his world, I can wipe my brow in relief and think "Thank GOD nothing came of that!" Another one has a lovely jumper-clad wife. And that's all I will say about that! :)

Yeah... with one exception, I'm glad I didn't get what I wished for. Funny that. Certainly gives a gal some perspective, but it does make me wonder how or when I'll ever just be okay with what is? Until I know, my brain will keep thinking.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Technology and Innovation rocks!

As if you didn't already know....

Thank whoever is out there for Facebook. This last week, I was contacted by a dear friend that I've had for a very long time. I named my firstborn after her, which clearly means that she had a significant impact on my life.

When I was 7, my dad was transferred to Germany by his employer. Our entire family had to pack up and leave everything that we had ever known. Everything that was familiar. I was only 7, but had 4 older siblings and endured their lamenting. I was mostly sad about leaving behing my best friend Emilie (who I named my second-by-two-minutes-after!). I vividly remember the process. I remember my dad going ahead of us, a few months... while my mom packed up a house of 5 kids and all their junk. I had absolutely no clue what to expect. We had some friends who spent some time in Germany, come to our house and tell us about the Berlin Wall (This was 1982).

I remember the plane ride. My mom got me a little sailor dress to wear. We all dressed up to ride the plane. I remember saying goodbye to friends and family at the airport. I especially remember my grandmothers teary eyes taking a different shape. I got sick on the plane, and the flight attendants brought me coke. My mom and her 5 kids took up an entire middle section and window seats.

I was nervous, scared, but excited! I had an incredible family, so I never had a real sense of insecurity. Mostly, I was going to miss Emilie. She was my very best friend that I knew since she was born. But I was about to move into a 2 story house with stairs and a balcony! Our house in Utah was all on one level.

We moved to a very secluded village. My parents wanted us to have the real "German" experience, so my dad refused the airforce base housing. We had a mini-wall around our house, with a big field behind us, and the most gorgeous forrest across the street. If I recall correctly, this village was 30 minutes away from anything major. We were waaaay out there, in Vogelbach Germany. Living there was a real shock. No one spoke my language, and the money was so different looking. This was a major, major adjustment. There were a few other americans in the same village. One of them was close to my age, just one year younger! Her name is Alexa.

Alexa and I lived on the same street. Our mothers, while extremely different individuals with a huge difference in age, became fast friends. Alexa and I were pretty much inseperable. We were in each others lives for less than 2 years, but so much of that 2 years remains solid in my memory, and has absolutely shaped my life.

In that two years:
I got lost in Switzerland when traveling with her parents.
Same trip-- I dared her to run around the camping trailer without a shirt on. (I guess I've always been naughty)
We got our long hair cut into Annie perm's... (We loved the movie Annie!)
We had sleepovers nearly every weekend.
We went to church with each other.
My mom taught her how to say her "R"'s in our kitchen
We learned how to tell the time together
We equally loved the Smurfs!
We saw E.T. together in the theater!
We bought books of fake tattoo's together
I snuck into the forrest with her one day, hoping to find a swimming hole. My parents forbade me, but I did it anyway. My mom caught us. This was the first and only time I've ever been grounded.
We swam at the nearest pool. I can see the pool, I can remeber the grounds and entrance fee, but can't remember the name of the town. I think it began with an "R".
If neither of us had a toy that we wanted, we tried to find a way to make it. More importantly, we made it work for us!
We got our first wrist watches on the same Christmas.

Then the real emotions started:
Her parents started arguing, a lot. It turned into loud screaming matches. They would go in their room and close the door and fight... but Alexa's room was across the hall, and we could hear them. I told her that whenever my parents fought, I was afraid they would get a divorce. She didn't know what that meant, so I explained it to her.

One morning before school, she rang the doorbell, as she always did. She had breakfast at our house and we walked to the bus stop together. Except for this day, she was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me "It's the bad word you taught me, that begins with "D"" I knew what she meant. Divorce. "Are your parents getting a divorce?" I asked. "Yes" she said. We hugged each other and bawled. I was 8 years old at the time, she was 7. This was the first time that Divorce ever hit close to home, and in my mind, it was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen.

Soon after, she, along with her mom and brother, moved away from Germany. I can still picture her turning around and waving at me, from the back seat of her car. She was my best friend, and then she was gone.

This was so hard for me. I still missed Emilie from the states, but now I missed Alexa, too. A few months from this time, my family moved back to Utah. Throughout the years, I had brief contact with Alexa. Her mom had business in Utah once that I can remember, so she visited us then. I talked to Alexa on the phone a few times, but most recently, it was just before I got married to Jeremy.

To recap: I talked to her 11 years ago, and haven't seen her since I was 8. I always knew I would name my first daughter after her. I love the name Alexa, and I loved the first Alexa I ever knew. I made a few attempts to contact her in the pas t11 years, but to no avail. Until last week, when I got a message from her on Facebook.

My god, this girl who is now a woman, is stunningly gorgeous. We had a long telephone conversation, and she still talks the same, laughs the same... wow! We've gone most of our lives not seeing each other, barely talking to each other, but absolutely pick up where we left off, and totally claim our love for each other. We've been in each others hearts and minds for so many years.

She's a rare, unique, gorgeous, amazing human being. I couldn't be more proud to name my daughter after her. Here is a picture of her, taken last year:

I can still see and hear the 7 year old in her. But that's non-important. To me, she is eternal. She is how she always was, and always will be. I'm so, so glad to have her in my life again!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Just Fuck.

I've not had a lot of things go my way lately. I don't have a lot to be happy about. I'm doing my best to keep my chin up and keep going up, but I've gotta say, sometimes the world can really suck.

I've lived in a hole of an apartment since March 2007. My lease is up this month. I've advised that I'm out at the end of the month, and my search for a new place has begun.

I found the perfect place. It was perfect! It was new, it was safe and secure, and it was in my budget. When I toured the place, I found that there were 5 others interested. The lady giving the showing was obviously TBM, and didn't have a lot of time for me. I wore khaki capri's, and a black shirt. The shirt wasn't entirely garment friendly. I wore sandals as well, so my ankle tattoo was visible.

I found out that 5 other people were interested. When I submitted my application, I submitted a cover letter in which I noted that I've worked for the same company for 12 years, and am in a secure leadership position. I have 6 year old twins that I envision raising in such a safe environment. Plus I'm clean, quiet, considerate.

Tonight I got a phone call from the woman that they've rented the condo to someone else.


So, I tell her "I'm eagerly looking to rent. Can you please provide constructive feedback as to why I didn't get the apartment over others?" She made some reference as to her husband reviewing the applicants and calling the references, when I said "None of my references were called" Her reply was "Well we didn't call YOUR references" "Why Not?" I asked. "The other guy just looked better on paper."

"How so?" I asked. "Is it because I'm a single mother?" "No," she said, "We've rented to a single father for the past year."

I replied "Sure. But single men have the advantage over single women. Please tell me, how did the other look better on paper? I'm eagerly looking for a place to live, and am looking for specific feedback. If you're uncomfortable giving it, please refer me to your husband."

"Oh, I'm not uncomfortable with giving feedback. He looked better on paper because he said he was planning on staying in the city for the next 3 years..."

I cut her off. "My coverletter stated that I've had the same employer for 12 years, and in no danger of losing my job!"

"Oh, uh, well....," she stammared.

I told her that I found them to be sexist and unfair. Clearly, they didn't even look at the applications before deciding. It matters not, I have no recourse. Had they said that the other person had a higher income, or if they truly checked my credit or references, I would feel at peace. Not the case!

I make too much to qualify for lower income housing, but not enought for a good, secure place to raise my daughters.

I'm fuckin' screwed. I need a fuckin' break.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

At last!

I finally got to meet my friend Dr. Ros!

I've known her for years, and wanted to meet her always! I feel so lucky for the opportunity.

SML was there, also. That woman rocks my world!! More pics of the gathering to follow.