The Real Deal

It's gut spilling time.

It seems silly at this point that Jer and I have been so hush hush about our personal lives. I mean it wasn't silly for a long time, but now, pretty much everyone knows, it's kind of a widely known secret, so why not make it public?

Jer and I have been seperated since the beginning of this year. I won't go into any details as to why, nor will I point fingers or place blame. I will always have a great deal of love and respect for him, he truly is one of the greatest human beings that I know. Both of us have been in a lot of therapy to help us get through this time, it hasn't been easy for either of us. Now you know the gist of my therapy posts.

Now to answer some FAQ's:

Divorce paperwork has not been filed yet. We want to come to a friendly agreement on the terms, to avoid mediation or a nasty court situation. We have been waiting for each of us to become stable enough to work through this amicably.

We sold our house, and have each moved into our own places. We have been doing a 50/50 custody arrangement with our girls. So far it is working, but we're always open to re-evaluation.

Speaking of the girls, they are fine. They are young enough that this won't cause huge trauma for them. They don't like it, but they're dealing with it in very healthy ways. They have a lot of love from each of us, as well as both sides of our families. They're getting plenty of support and have not been neglected in the slightest. I'm actually amazed at how well our families have pulled together in not only supporting us during these difficult times, but making the girls the #1 priority.

I have a kick ass family, and kick ass friends. I've had to lean on them A LOT during this time, and have been amazed at the show of support that I've had. Family and friends don't love this decision, but they love each of us as individuals. At the beginning of this I was afraid that I would lose frienships in the process, but my friends have only made their friendship more prevalent. And my family has only been more loving and supportive. I'm very lucky, I couldn't have made it through these times without them.

We have both dated other people since seperating. Neither of us had an affair.

I blame much of this on the mind fuck and mental rape I had from the church. Jer and I actually had an intense conversation about this, just this morning. I plan on blogging more about that as time goes on.

I'm still on somewhat of a hiatus, but I needed to get this out.

As the PR reps would say, Jer and I will appreciate our privacy at this time, but still need and want the friendship and support of friends, both cyberly and in real life. If you have questions, you can ask, but we may not answer. Don't feel like you need to walk on egg shells around us, you don't. Please don't ignore us becuase you feel awkward or don't know what to say. We need you.

And now you know the truth.