I rarely discuss my current dating life, but here goes.
A few weeks ago I posted a blurry pic of me with some guy. He's still around, but I rarely get to see him. He travels extensively for work, plus he's got a busy life of his own. I really like this guy... he's respectful, kind, motivated, into me, intelligent, good looking, we have excellent chemistry... the whole package. If given the chance, I could totally fall for this guy. But I have a hard time reading him. Considering I rarely get to see him, I don't want to make things intense and dramatic when I do. I'm an excellent judge of character-- I feel like he likes to be with me when he can, but he's got a lot of other stuff going on. To keep myself sane, I remain casual, appreciating what I can, when I can. We have never discussed being exclusive, although I don't believe he is seeing anyone else (with what free time?), we're not at that next level.
This is difficult for me because I want to be at that level. I really want a boyfriend. I want someone that I can experience lifes ups and downs with. I want someone who will send me a random text from time to time saying something like "Hey, I'm thinking about your great smile, have a wonderful day!". Someone to bring to family dinners, and have him be proud to introduce me to his family. I want someone who can't get enough of me, but is okay spending some time apart.
Am I asking for too much? I don't think so.
So, I agreed to go out with a new guy last Friday. This guy has been persistant with me, which I dig. He pulled out the big guns and asked me out to the Melting Pot, which I love. We have a lot in common. Plus, he has a good job, lives in a nice house, and drives a nice car. All plusses, right? On our way to the restaurant, he's driving relatively crazy. He's in and out of the carpool lane (apparently the rules don't apply to him), flighty in conversation, always always wears a baseball cap. These things are not so cool to me.We get to the restaurant, which has a full bar, and he orders Bud Light. Come on. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but I know good beer. Bud Light? Then, he starts off the conversation telling me that he's prejudiced against the asian race. Um, hello?!?!? For real? The fact that you freely talk about it, is #1, and I think the asian culture is awesome, #2. I wasn't sure what to say. He made a few derrogatory comments which I brushed off, changed the conversation, okay. Dinner is over, and we discuss options for after. It was only 8:30, I didn't want to go home. He tells me "I know of this bar that is totally white trash. The clientelle, the band, everything. I don't go there often, but it's close to my house." I agree, and off we go.
At this point, I can tell that he's really into me. Honestly, I get the feeling based on comments and gestures, that he wants to take me home. I'm not so interested. We go to the bar, the bouncer recognizes him, and he's hugging people as we pass. I thought he said he doesn't go there often? Okay... THEN, we get to the bar to order drinks, and he starts talking to these frat guys who are there. What about? I couldn't say. His back was to me and he never bothered to include or introduce me. Luckily I have my iPhone to keep me entertained, so I find a chair and sit. He turns to me, shakes my knee, and says "Sorry!" and orders our drinks. Not so long after, a waitress notices his ball cap, and starts talking to him about it. He doesn't just politely answer, but then continues to engage her in conversation. After she leaves, I say "I was about to write your number down on the napkin and hand it to her."
I know I'm not into this guy at this point, but I still feel like I should be respected. Then he gets up to order more drinks for us, and I see him flirting with some chick at the bar. Okay, no, I'm not into him. But come on, he's on a date. With ME. I'm worth more than that. He comes back to the table, and I say "Did you get her number??" And he says "No, I go up there to order our drinks, and she asks me what I'm having!" So I said "That's when you should say 'I'm having THIS, my date is having THAT." Seriously, he was flirting, not just answering her question. So we sit there in silence, drinking our drinks. Then he says "Do you want to get out of here?" I said yes. He goes to close out his tab, and he's flirting with the same girl. So I walk up to her, with my iPhone in my hand, with his information (home and cell number) on my screen. I say to her "Would you like his number? Here, you have your choice." She was shocked and bewildered and said no, I don't. I tried to get her to take it down, but she wouldn't. I see he's done, so I storm out ahead of him.No, I'm not into him. But he was downright disrespectful. I've never been treated like this, not ever. Even my worst date ever (when I was 19), was better than this. This is my new worst date ever. On the way back to his place, where my car was parked, he says "If someone talks to me, I'm not going to be rude and ignore them." and I say "There's a difference between politely answering their questions, and engaging them in conversation." I also made it clear that he crossed the line, and I'm a great catch, who is worth more than the treatment he gave me. He said nothing. After several more minutes of silence, I say "You know, I have never been treated like shit, the way you treated me. Thanks for giving me the worst treatment I've EVER received." In which he says "No problem." We pull up to his house, I jump out of his car and into my own, and all this takes place before 10PM.
Had he apologized the next day, I would have given him an ounce of respect. But now, no. Nope. Not ever. I've been spoiled by some really great guys.