My dear friend JulieAnn blogged about it, and so will I. I was priveleged enough to be her guest at a screening of this movie at a small bookstore, downtown SLC.
First of all, allow me to give some props to JulieAnn- she is a rare woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I've known her for just a couple of months, but she and I have a great connection. I'm so lucky to know her and be friends with her! Besides, she fed me some amazing food! Mwah! Love you, JulieAnn! Luck, I tell you. LUCK!!
So, we go and watch this film, with our respective SO's (yes, I have a significant other. No, I haven't blogged about him. Yes, he is HOT. No, you don't get to meet him yet!). SO and I felt very corporate at this shindig. Not nearly goth or hip enough. At any rate, they welcomed us, offered us wine and beer (which I partook) and we settled in for the 2 hr.+ movie.
I could relate to so much of what Anais Nin experienced. In this film, she is newly experiencing her own sexuality, as it relates to men and women. The scene in particular that grabbed me, is where she is out and about an notices all of these men noticing her. Wow, yes.
The first time I noticed someone notice me, I felt dirty. I felt like I did something wrong because a person of the opposite sex noticed me. Thank you, mormon mindfuck. This happened in 6th grade. I wore a miniskirt one day, and Marcus looked at me under my desk. I felt so violated, and evil at the same time. Yes, he looked at me, but it was my fault! Bad, bad me. I never wore that skirt again.
Later, in my married years, I recall going grocery shopping one day. A man walked past me and had an obvious head turn, watching me walk into the store. I was wearing black capri's an a light blue babydoll-t Tshirt. I was humiliated, and refused to wear that outfit again.
Back to Anais. god. This woman-- is exquisite. Considering what was taboo in the 1930's, she made it into herself. What she was, who she is. I'm certain that if she existed today, she be a blogger, to the likes of JulieAnn (Ravings of a Mad Woman), or Dooce (Heather Armstrong). Someone who knows how to eloquently speak her mind.
JulieAnn- Thanks so much for inviting me. I feel awakened. Alive. "innocent", and beautiful. I truly love it when I find someone whose words are exactly as they write- geniune, humble, real. They are what they are and offer no apologies, nor should they. I love people as they are, and am fascinated by how they inspire me.
The human species rules.
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6 comments:
Great post, C. I love your sentiments and can relate to the feelings you describe on your own attractive beauty, and the feelings you get when you've been taught that your body is essentially bad.
I look forward to seeing that movie.
Awesome post. I want to hear about the SO. ;-)
I am so honored, Christy...especially to know you. Thank you!
ja
Sounds like a great movie!
Can't wait to hear more about your S.O.!!
Maybe I get Picasso too much. For most people, Picasso is cliché. They think of him as a weird guy who liked to pain people in funny ways. I look at his study of the female form, regardless of the style period he was in, and he seems to see what I've always seen. Every woman, and I do mean every woman, has this beauty born of nature that is like no other. Some guys turn their heads for obvious reasons.
I won't claim to not look for some of the same reasons. But those who get to know me realize that I'm also naturally fascinated with the female form. I don't see anything dirty, nasty, or evil about a woman's body. It's a horrible shame that this world seems to propagate two predominant views of a woman's body: evil that must be shunned and covered, or sin that must be used and exploited.
Eric
Wow I am blown away...It just surprises me that a glance or a look or perhaps a gaze can have such an impact on a girl raised a certain way as to make her feel enough shame not to wear an outfit again. When really, beauty is natural and attracting interest while it may not be who you want looking, is really nature's beautiful process for creating love and connection between people...tricking them into reproducing!
So sad that hotness and sexual interest should ever bring about shame. That is the real tragedy of some religious influences.
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