I must preface this post by saying I have not seen this movie since it's theatrical release. It's been a few years, and while my memory is top notch, it's not perfect.
This was one of those movies that has stuck with me. When I saw it I loved it, and it's clear that I need to see it again, very soon. I found it heartbreaking, heartwarming, and mesmerizing at the same time.
I've been thinking about my own life lately, and the recent roller coaster of emotions that I've had, my being in therapy, learning to discover who I am and really loving myself. I'm so far off from it, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel.
There are moments in my life that I have loved, and often replay them in my mind over and over again. It makes me sad that with time, parts of the memories fade... sometimes it's the exact look of the person involved, the voice, the surroundings... eventually all that's left is the specifics of the moment in and of itself, and the details are hazy. I wish that the opposite of mind erasing were possible, where we could record these moments and replay them in their entirety, and get all of those feelings back again. It's these moments in life that I look back on with such fondness, and they really pull my out of my darker times. I need these incredible moments.
There are moments in my life that I loved while in the moment, but replaying them in my mind brings too much pain. I do my best to try to ignore and forget about these moments, but it's not possible. It's moments like this that make me wish that mind erasing were indeed possible. If I could forget that certain things were said or done in my life, then I could avoid heartbreak altogether, and more easily move on. I hate heartbreak with a passion.
I suppose heartbreak is necessary. Without heartbreak, you're not able to really enjoy and appreciate something good when you have it. If everything in life comes to you easily and without any effort or work, then what's the point? But where is the line when you're able to trust again, or allow your heart to open and accept again? At what point are we sabotaging ourselves and forcing a life of misery, when not necessary? As my mom says often, we tend to cut off our noses to spite our face.
My point to this, is that broken hearts suck. Healing takes a long time. Memory erasing is not possible. Permanent memory is not reachable. I guess it's true when they say that you can't appreciate the sweet without the bitter.
But it still hurts.
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7 comments:
I heard this on the radio this morning: "Grief is the price we all pay for love." (Gretchen Jackson, owner of race horse Barbaro after he was euthanized)
I'm definitely with on Michel Gondry's remarkable movie .. it has stuck with me over all these years too ... And I also have to agree that the sweet in life just wouldn't taste the same without any of the bitter
I totally agree.. you can't appreciate the sweet without the bitter...I think about the possibility of erasing the bad things sometimes. It's easy to want to forget all the depression and anxiety. But then I think if I hadn't gone through all of that, I may not have all the good things that I have right now. And that would kind of suck...
I'm not a fan of heartbreak. I'd rather not have experiences some of the pain I've had, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be 21, but knowing then what I know now. Probably I'd have some other kind of pain, I don't know. However, I am where I am, and the challenges are to heal and make myself whole. I suppose that much is possible.
I'm with Randy. If I could have some less-intense emotion than heartbreak I think I would be fine.
Overcoming it teaches you quite a bit about yourself, so perhaps it's not completely without merit.
That doesn't mean you have to enjoy it, though.
I wonder sometimes if we don't give ourselves the idea that we can't appreciate the good if we hadn't felt the bad just because we want to have a reason for the hurt we are feeling.
I think I WOULD appreciate the good even without the bad. I think that we are selling ourselves short by assuming we MUST have some bad to offset our good things. I think we just need to feel like the bad isn't happening all for nothing.
I think the only reason you can't appreciate the good without the bad is that without bad, good simply becomes normal. We all need some sort of balance and different experiences make that happen. I have been writing a lot about memory lately. It fascinates me.
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