@*#$&#$*&!!!

Just Fuck.

I've not had a lot of things go my way lately. I don't have a lot to be happy about. I'm doing my best to keep my chin up and keep going up, but I've gotta say, sometimes the world can really suck.

I've lived in a hole of an apartment since March 2007. My lease is up this month. I've advised that I'm out at the end of the month, and my search for a new place has begun.

I found the perfect place. It was perfect! It was new, it was safe and secure, and it was in my budget. When I toured the place, I found that there were 5 others interested. The lady giving the showing was obviously TBM, and didn't have a lot of time for me. I wore khaki capri's, and a black shirt. The shirt wasn't entirely garment friendly. I wore sandals as well, so my ankle tattoo was visible.

I found out that 5 other people were interested. When I submitted my application, I submitted a cover letter in which I noted that I've worked for the same company for 12 years, and am in a secure leadership position. I have 6 year old twins that I envision raising in such a safe environment. Plus I'm clean, quiet, considerate.

Tonight I got a phone call from the woman that they've rented the condo to someone else.

Fuck.

So, I tell her "I'm eagerly looking to rent. Can you please provide constructive feedback as to why I didn't get the apartment over others?" She made some reference as to her husband reviewing the applicants and calling the references, when I said "None of my references were called" Her reply was "Well we didn't call YOUR references" "Why Not?" I asked. "The other guy just looked better on paper."

"How so?" I asked. "Is it because I'm a single mother?" "No," she said, "We've rented to a single father for the past year."

I replied "Sure. But single men have the advantage over single women. Please tell me, how did the other look better on paper? I'm eagerly looking for a place to live, and am looking for specific feedback. If you're uncomfortable giving it, please refer me to your husband."

"Oh, I'm not uncomfortable with giving feedback. He looked better on paper because he said he was planning on staying in the city for the next 3 years..."

I cut her off. "My coverletter stated that I've had the same employer for 12 years, and in no danger of losing my job!"

"Oh, uh, well....," she stammared.

I told her that I found them to be sexist and unfair. Clearly, they didn't even look at the applications before deciding. It matters not, I have no recourse. Had they said that the other person had a higher income, or if they truly checked my credit or references, I would feel at peace. Not the case!

I make too much to qualify for lower income housing, but not enought for a good, secure place to raise my daughters.

I'm fuckin' screwed. I need a fuckin' break.