I'm Clueless and Lame

Proof that I'm clueless:

Last week I was on a bi-monthly conference call. These conference calls are a major deal-- they last two hours, and involve the most of the bigwigs of my company, regarding supply and demand of our products. I never speak on these calls, but prepare some of the data for them, so am required to stand by incase any questions are asked. My colleague Mike does the speaking, I do the preparations. Generally, I sit at my desk with my headset on, and multi-task.

So, during the call last week, Mike's boss asks to speak to him about 10 minutes before his slides are up. He says to me "I'm sure I'll be back, but can you cover for me if I'm not?" "Sure!" I say. Public speaking is a strength of mine (I have mormonism to thank for that!) and I have no problem getting my name out there for the important people to take note of. However, I've done no preperations other than supplying the data, so I take those next few minutes to glance over the slides and figure out what I'll say.

"Mike, are you ready to present your slides?" I hear the director of the call say.

"Hi, this is Christy. Mike got called away to a last minute meeting, so I'm here to cover his presentation."

Then I hear:
"Oh, you're in shitting for Mike?" from the Director.

"Pardon me?" I'm very bewildered.

"In shitting. You're in shitting for Mike?"

I say "Okay" In a very Phoebe like tone. "If you'll notice in the upper left hand quadrant of slide 23, blah blah blah blah"

I stumble my way through the presentation, and thank GOD, there were no questions at the end. Good thing as I was feeling flustered and blushing. I couldn't believe the director would use vulgar language to me before I speak. Anyone who reads my blog knows I do not fear swear words, but when the powers that be are on the phone??

I take my headset off and go find Mike, and say "Why would D. ask if I was 'in shitting' for you? Is this some kind of inside joke?!?!" Mike grabs his stomach, laughs deeply from within, and says "'In Shitting'?? He must have said 'Pinch Hitting'!"

"What the hell does 'Pinch Hitting' mean?" He explained the baseball terminology to me. I know NOTHING about baseball, I'm absolutely clueless. I went to a game once last year, and it was the longest four hours of my life.

After this happened, I went into the conference room where the director was, and exclaimed "I know NOTHING about baseball!!" and told him what I thought he said, trying to explain my flustered tone.

It's been a joke around the office ever since. Duh me!

Proof that I'm lame:




I confess to my latest guilty pleasure. I watch VH1's Rock of Love on a weekly basis. No, it's not my thing. No, I was never into Poison, never thought that Brett Michaels is hot. But the girl I sit next to at work talked about it all the time, and one day I found myself watching a marathon and finally understanding what she was talking about. Now, I absolutely have to find out what tramp he's going to pick, the one who will continue to rock his world. It's between my favorite, Ambre:



(not such a tramp)

Or Daisy:



Daisy reminds me of Janice, from the Muppets:



So what part of this, and the first picture in this section, makes me lame? Oh yeah, my white-board with words and letters. You see, some radio station has been having a contest where they give 8 letters, you have to unscramble the word, then be the right caller and win free tickets to the Rock of Love tour that is coming RIGHT HERE to SALT LAKE CITY on the day of the final episode, where you get to actually watch the finale with Brett Michaels himself! We're doing all we can to win those tickets. In that picture, you can see my handiwork. I started to the right, ended on the left.

Aren't you embarrassed to even read this blog?