Me: "Thanks for the info, Peter, but I don't think I'll ever make use of that word."
Him: "Why not? It's a perfectly functional, fine word."
Me: "I refuse to use words I can't even pronounce!"
Him: "What's so difficult about Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?" (yes, he said it with ease and finesse!)
Me: "Okay, I'll try. Hipopotamusblahblahblabha"
Him: "Keep practicing, you'll get it one day!"
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia means the fear of long words. While I may not always use long words, I'm okay with them. That being said, I have many other irrational fears. Here is my confession:
- Voice Mail. I see that red light on my phone, and I avoid it until it can't be avoided any longer. This has actually gotten me in trouble once or twice. Moral of this story is, if you want to talk to me, wait until you can get ahold of me, email me, or text me. Chances are, I won't get your voicemail until much after the fact.
- Anything in my eyes. I count myself lucky for still having perfect vision. When the time comes that I need corrective lenses, I hope I'll look as hot as Tina Fey, because I'll wear glasses for the rest of my life.
- Toilet flushers. I refuse to touch with my hands, always kick it with my shoes.
- Speaking of bathrooms, the door handles of public restrooms. I always use papertowels to open the bathroom door.
- Swimming in lakes. I'm afraid that I'm going to swim across a dead body. Too many horror movies, perhaps?
- Movie theater seats. I'm very picky as to what seats I'll sit in. Because of this, I only go to newer movie theaters, and arrive early so that I can sit in a seat that doesn't gross me out.
- Spiders. But I disagree that this fear is irrational.
- Hotel room comforters. I've seen one too many dateline specials on this. As soon as I enter my hotel room, the comforter is stripped off the bed and put on the floor.
Okay, wow. I could keep going on, but I believe this is enough neurosis exposed for now.
Please tell me I'm not the only one with irrational fears?
31 comments:
Of course I do. The fear of telling others what my fears are.
Fears:
-belly button lint
-running out of lube/condoms
-World Wrestling Federation
-thong underwear
-Rush Limbaugh
-dark (non-illuminated) rooms
-no one commenting on my blog
-being mistaken for a Mormon
SML- Seriously? Okay then, you're excused!
Sideon- Ditto to most of those. Thongs have their purpose, and I love dark rooms! :) (a combination of the two can actually be rather fantastic!)
Um, no. I list my fears out there on my blog daily. It's probably getting old to everyone. Sigh.
Fear of not being accepted.
Can I list fear of being caught doing something I shouldn't be doing?
How about a fear of never having beer again?
I also have a very real phobia of all things medical. I have passed out in waiting rooms and hospital bathrooms. I've even passed out while laying down in hospitals.
I think I need to lay down now. Maybe I can put the seats down in the van and have a rest till I'm feeling better.
SML- I hear you about your fear of not being accepted. I took a public speaking class in college, and one time I gave a speech about phobia's. I did a poll of those I was presenting to, and that was one of the more common fears.
Pete- I think that being caught doing something that you shouldn't is not an irrational fear, but a very valid one. Shame on you for doing something that you shouldn't! ;-) And I'm sure you'll have a beer again, in my opinion you should go buy a beer making kit and set up shop in your kitchen, then return and report, just for my entertainment. Also, if you think you are going to pass out, then lying down in your van sounds like a great option. Is it comfortable?
I want to learn to brew beer. Maybe I will do that.
The van is quite comfortable. I have camped in it a couple of times. It's big enough for a couple of people to be very comfortable.
Does Tina Fey have killer eyebrows? I don't think so. She is funny as monkey farts though.
Is it rational to be afraid that no one will comment on my blog?
Pete, we all have a fear of being caught doing something we shouldn't be doing. That's half the fun!
I really dislike clowns. I don't have a fear, per se, but find them exceptionally annoying. So much so that I'd one day like to punch one just to say I did.
My biggest fear is that I'm my own worst enemy and my procrastination will be the end of me.
Pete- seriously, return and report on the beer making. Consider that a demand! (insert whip sound effects here) And you must have a very nice van if it's so comfortable.
I happen to think that Tina Fey DOES have killer eyebrows. And yes, it is irrational for you to fear that no one will comment on your blog. EVERYONE comments on your blog, don't they?
SML- I *SO* agree! :)
Chops- I hate clowns too. Next time we hang out, we should totally bitch about that. I have the fear of being my own worst enemy too, but it's not irrational.
OK, I used to have a RAGING fear of the dark, but since I stopped believing so much in the supernatural it has improved a great deal (seriously, I was in my 30s and still sleeping with nightlights and stuff).
Also, since 1973, I have had a phobia of inadvertently catching sight of a scene from The Exorcist--like on some commericial or movie-clips show or something. I am not kidding. When I was 13, that happened (I think it was the head-spinning scene) and I could not fall asleep at night without terror for a SOLID YEAR. Even though I am no longer really afraid of the dark anymore, I still have that one to a degree.
Otherwise, I tend to remain defensively unaware of my fears until they rear up, seize me by throat without warning, and reduce me to a trembling paralyzed wreck.
And now I have also achieved neurosis overexposure--or will if I continue writing. (There actually IS a neurosis over-exposure line. Who knew?)
Oh, OK, maybe I will cross the line. I rather hesitate to ask, but what specifically is the fear of hotel room comforters and why does it merit air-time on Dateline?
Mmm, voice mail is my friend. I love voice mail. It means I've successfully avoided MY fear - answering the phone. :-)
As for the rest of your list? Ditto. We are twins in the neurosis universe, I tells ya. 'Cept I'm scared (not paralytic mind you, just averse) of lakes AND oceans b/c I'm scared of fish and water-going creepy-crawlies, not dead bodies. Ew.
Hotel room comforters are big germ and body fluid and other yukky-stuff-infested gross-outs. I agree - on the floor they go, immedjutly. *Shudder*
My irrational fears are:
1-Calling people on the phone. I break out into cold sweats and my heart starts beating really fast. It's awful!
2-Spiders and yeah, it's not irrational!
3-That everyone who I think likes me actually hates me or at the very least thinks I am annoying.
4-Ordering things online. I am positive someone will steal all our financial information and spend all our money on chia pets or Michael Bolton music or other things equally as useless and annoying.
I am sure there are others. So no Christy you are not alone at all!
I used to run marathons and would train very early in the morning. I half expected/feared finding a dead body. It is always the early morning runners that find the dead bodies. I thought I found one once, but that is a story for another time.
Ditto on the calling on the phone thing. I won't even call the pizza guy. It's that bad. It makes my job very difficult.
Also, I have an irrational fear of being crushed by an overpass. I am positive when I'm stuck in traffic underneath an overpass at THAT MOMENT there will be an earthquake and I'll be the person squished by concrete.
Ooooh, LM, I have the underpass/earthquake fear too!!
I forgot about the underpass/earthquake one - yeah, I have that one, too!
Me too on the overpass. We were under one the other day and I sat there holding my breath in fear until we had driven out of it!
I blame that on living in S. CA for 5 years.
Belaja- I had a slight fear of the dark for awhile too, especially after seeing movies like "The Ring". Like you, since I stopped believing in satan, I'm not scared anymore. Go figure. Oh, and I think Wry gave a good explanation of hotel room comforters. They're icky, and rarely get washed. ew ew ew.
Wry- Hello darling! I hate answering the phone, too.
Regina- thanks girlie! :)
Ros- you must complete your story for me. There have been a few dead bodies found by early morning joggers near where my parents live. that would be so scary.
LM- interesting fear. Now I'm going to develop it too, just watch.
Fear if showing up in a van, wearing only lingerie, and finding that nobody else really planned to show up with me. God, how embarrassing!!
Fear OF. Stupid typo. Obviously this fear has me in its serious grip.
I developed a new fear of spiders last years after suffering with a spider bite. Those suck major ass (or belly in my case)! Took weeks for the pain to go away.
Oh, and I just developed a fear of stupid typos, like SML, because of my incorrect pluralization of last "years" in my comment. Sigh.
Matt- ew... OUCH! I have a fear of stupid typos too. I hate that blogger doesn't let us edit our comments!
I have two fears. Fear of love...okay i know its ironic but this is me we're talking about. Two...Fear of death..hey everyone fears death...except suicidal ppl..
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