My department has had 3 lunches this month, scheduled for the holidays. One of them was an end of year "Thank You" (can no longer classify official business meetings as Holiday) held by our department VP. It was a very classy event held at a prestigious restaurant, with great food and service. The second was held the very next day for the entire business unit. Lunch was catered in from a local business, lame gifts were given out, and it was okay. The third was held today, just a department potluck and white elephant gift exchange.
I really don't like potlucks. It's not so much a dislike, but rather, a fear. First of all, you don't know what the kitchens of your co-workers look like. You don't know if they wash their hands at home. You're not sure who as been in the line before you, touching the same utensils and breathing on the food. So many unknowns. Yet if you chose to not participate, the potential is there to be seen as the department scrooge. Such is my dilemma.
I "accidentally" forgot to bring a gift to exchange (not really- I just have no desire to trade my crap for someone elses), and brought a pre-made salad from Costco. I purposely waited for everyone else to go, and got at the end of the line. Then the department slug got in line behind me. This slug is a man that I work with that is the most condescending sexist pig I've ever met. How he is still employed by my very politically correct company, I'll never know. I know of at least 2 occasions that he's been busted for porn viewing in the office. His wife is a BYU professor! When he speaks to me he acts like he's teaching a sunbeam class. And he's huge... probably 6'4" and 300 pounds. And he's in line behind me. Behind me isn't a good way to put it, more like, he got in line ON TOP OF ME. Literally breathing down my back, his stomach touching my arm and waaaaaaaay over invading my personal space. So I got out of line and went back to my desk. I'm not THAT eager to make an appearance.
I wait for everyone to finish, and am the very last in line. No room for me at the big table, I have to sit at the "little kids" table with 2 others.
Doesn't every office have these lame-ass potlucks? Why? Does anyone REALLY like them? I mean, don't most people have the exact same experience I just described?
To end on a happy note, this was my last day of work until 2007. Yipee!!
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20 comments:
Wow, Lucky! You don't have to work for the rest of the year? That's fun...
I feel the exact same way about potlucks...unless it's close friends and family. And I should've mentioned this on the wierdness comments...but I have OCD about germs. I have to wash my hands before and after not just the normal things...but like even touching normal stuff like the cereal box...I have to wash my hands...someone could've dropped it on the ground while they were stocking the Walmart shelves!!! And don't even get me started on raw meat! I'm not so picky when I'm cooking for my family...but I'm extra careful when I know I'm cooking for other people...I'm very sterile!
So anyway, your company slug is grossing me out!
Psha! My HELL....not even my kids get off school tomorrow! I'm so pissed, it's not fair!
...but good for you domo. :)
I'm like this too. At my last job there were a couple of people who I was scared to eat anything they brought. So I didn't. Like domo I just ate chips and the main course which was usually brought in from a resturaunt, the employees provided side dishes.
My favorite year was when we went out to a resturaunt. I think that is the better thing to do.
It seems like every place I've worked has had potlucks, and they always creep me out.
What concerns me about potlucks is that people generally cook the food the night before, and then it sits for 18 hours or so. Most offices don't have enough refrigerator space for everyone to store their food, so that stuff is just festering in the perfect bacteria-breeding temperature range. Plus, I can just imagine what some of these people's kitchens look like. I generally only eat food prepared by friends.
We had a Christmas potluck just a couple weeks ago at work. I work with a particularly motley crew of coworkers this year so I brought my own lunch and snuck out. What blew my mind is that the woman who sits in the cubicle next to me brought in a fish dish, and cooked it at work in a crock pot UNDER HER DESK. Next to her feet. The whole office reeked of fish.
Shockingly (and maybe a little disappointingly), nobody died.
Oh. my. god.
NO WAY would I do a potluck with work people. I have never had to do one (how did I avoid this??), and I've never heard of doing one before...so I'm considering myself lucky to not have to deal with this. Gack.
Here, we do aperos instead of potluck anythings. And we just have white wine or prosecco, plus fizzy water and/or the ubiquitous orange juice, and catered hors d'ouevres. Easy peasy.
Your slug sounds like jabba the disgusting hutt. Blech.
Today is my last day of work until 18th of January. Yay! I SO need a damn holiday...
Happy happy to you, Christy and Jer and the girls!!! :-) Mwah!
Shiree- Yup, I've got the rest of the year off. So, if you ever want to do something (hint hint), let me know. I'm sure we can find a way to hook up! I always sterilze my kitchen before cooking for others, also. And I wash my hands a gazillion times. And I totally trust anything you cook, so no worries there!
Domo- Sacrificing budget to prevent illnesses can only be a good thing. That lasagna just sounds messed up, ick!
Regina- I'm actually quite lucky in the sense that I get to go to restaurants on the company dime rather frequently. This is just an annual holiday potluck for people to show off their recipes. I don't love it!
Ned Flanders- EW! Just. EW!! G-r0ss!
Wry- you lucky skunk! I want to work where you work. And how have you managed to be in corporate offices for so long without an office potluck?
Mwaha back at you!
We have a small office and our potluck sucked too. Now that the word is out in the office that I go to Synagogue and I somewhat follow a Kosher diet, efforts were made to accomodate me. A co-worker brought in mini-beef sausages, and told me I could eat them. I politely refused as most of those are still put into pork casings, and the last time I had turkey sausage I got sick (no thanks I'll pass).
I have a guy in my office who tries to come off as Peter Priesthood, but then will ask another female co-worker to butter his roll. OK buddy whatever.
I'm with Shiree, I hate all of you that have time off. It's a quick burning jealous hate, though, so I'll love you all until I read about your time off again.
At my last company we had the occasional potluck. It was a small company and we were all pretty good friends so it wasn't too bad.
We had a lovely holiday party that the Bible-thumpers boycotted because there was not enough emphasis on Jesus. Yeah, I could show them some emphasis allright.
We have one guy in my department who I call "Phlegm" because he's always coughing and making horrible choking sounds - all year long, every week, every day. When emails go out saying "it's my birthday, I brought treats," we usually start a count-down from the time the email is received and the time he gets his oinker-ass out of his chair and goes scrounging for food. I know it's overkill, but the man fucking disgusts me. Whew - sorry - had to get that out of my system before Santa decides I belong on the naughty list. :) Hell, who am I kidding? :)
I DO have to work next week, so allow me a small glowing moment of extreme jealousy for those who have it off. Okay - I'm over it. Jerks. :)
Be well.
Well, I only get Christmas day and the day after off. I could have taken vacation during this time, but I didn't so it's my fault.
I have decided not do any of my bench warrants for a couple of weeks before Christmas to give the dirtbags a little break (for the sake of their kids). I also wont do evictions, divorce papers, etc. right before Christmas.
BTW - Zero tolerance on porn in my profession. One time, you're fired. I just go home to view the porn.
Also, you think your work food is gross, try eating food that inmates prepared.. I rarely eat it anymore and bring my own food. I once found a pubic hair in my meal (Sorry to gross you all out).
I only eat food that is pre-packaged.
The good thing is, I get a paid lunch and free food.
I like potlucks. It always amazes me how much other people like to cook, and how good it all tastes. However, if there were a phlegm-snorting, molest-by-accidenting person in the group, I'd make sure I knew which dish that person brought and not eat it.
Have a nice break from work, Christy. I hope you get some time off too, Jer.
Hey Christy! I'm an official blogger now! I have been reading your blog now since the Chrsitmas party and I just love it.
Have fun with your time off!
Michelle
p.s. Potlucks kinda freak me out too, and that guy sounds REALLY gross...
Work potlucks can be gross unless you really know the people you work with. My last job in Arizona there were only 4 of us in the office and we knew each other really well. Our potlucks were excellent!
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!
AzEx- Really? I don't know why I find it humerous when people try to portray themselves a certain way, yet you can clearly see them as they really are.
Sideon- Ew! Really gross! There are a couple of guys in my department that remind me of that. They make countless trips to the food line, some of them even pack up some food and take it home to their families.
Rob- YUCK! That's an image I didn't need! eeeeeew! And good for you for taking it easy with your other job.
Phoebe- potlucks can be fun if it's people you know and trust. I love it when I do potlucks with my friends, most of them are excellent chefs and the food is exquisite! It's the office potluck with gross co-workers that bother me. Thanks for the well wishes, I hope you and your family have a great Christmas! Are you going to come out to Utah for the holidays? And how much snow did you get at your house with that blizzard?
Michelle- w00t! I'll go check out your blog! (PS- my gross co-worker lives in your neck of the woods!)
ripzip- I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, too! A small office with co-workers you know and trust would be potluck worthy, for sure!
Ah crap...people like that give our little town a bad name! I'll have to look out for him the next time I get in line at the grocery store!
Michelle
Merry Christmas, my friend!
Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas :)
I hope this finds you blissfully well.
I hated office potlucks too when I had to deal with them.
FUCK anyone that considers Vienna sausages stewing in grease a meal.
That's all I really have to say on the matter.
Your office slug invokes visions of Barth from the old Nickelodeon show "You Can't Do That On Television".
You know, after reading this I'm NEVER eating anything at a potluck again. At least, as you say, where I don't know the people very well.
However, I must say I snorted reading Domo's lasagne story. That is really funny. I am just imagining the face I would make to the person who told me the secret ingredients to such a "lasagna." WTF indeed.
I am sympathetic and agreeable to the concerns that drive people to be vegan (whether health or compassion or environment or what have you), but, if I may be extra mild about this, I FUCKING HATE vegan cooking. GAWD it's awful. Horrible. Nasty.
Not that I'm a food snob or anything. Not much. Well, not to an extreme degree, anyway.
I love your blog, Christy. Happy New Year!
Hi Christy,
I thought about y'all when I was in Utah over the past week, but this time I took the plunge and did the 3-day cabin incarceration thing. We came home to an extra foot of snow on top of the two feet we already had on the lawn. It's beautiful, but I'm just thankful we didn't have to depend on airplanes lately.
Happy New Year's Eve! Hope you two love bugs have fun.
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