Priceless

Black capri sailor pants from Express: $60.00

Black strappy sandals from TJMaxx: $20.00

Black and white top from Vanity that is strategically revelealing: $25.00

Victoria's Secret Secret Embrace Push-Up Bra: $45.00

The look on the Elders Quorum Presidency sitting in a truck, tripping over themselves to be nice to me?:
PRICELESS.

Haiku 1

Blogging has been sparse
From now on I shall Haiku
When no other words

Simply Exquisite!

I got to meet Sideon for lunch today! This man is every bit as charming, funny, fabulous, and real as his posts. It was all too short of a time, then I drove him back to the airport. He kept thanking me for the ride, but truly, I was the lucky one. Who else gets to spend one on one time with him? Besides... well... a number of other bloggers. But still, it was Pure.Heaven.

Until we meet again! ;-)

One last thing-- HAPPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to every bloggers favorite sweetheart, Sister Mary Lisa! After I meet her, I can die happy.

Cheers!

Yup. It really *does* rule to be me!

I got to talk to both Sideon AND SML on the phone today. AT THE SAME TIME!!!

I wish I coulda been there. Can't wait to read their after-posts.

Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

hehe.

So Sweet!

This is my baby nephew Alex, and his dog Zoey:



I'm such a proud aunt!

Ode to Costco

Costco Costco... how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

***sidenote*** Remember my prediction about Google ruling the world one day? I still believe that. I think nothing would be better than to have the president of Google also be the one who calls the shots for the world. I want a google telephone line, ISP, computer, electricity, etc. etc. etc. I told my dad this one day and he agreed with me, but said they really ought to co-brand with Costco. Brilliant!! It is clear where I get my intelligence from, no?

On to my counting.

1. Customer services is unsurpassed. I have never had a bad experience with a Costco employee. It is clear to me that those who work there are treated very well, love their jobs, and have a ton of loyalty. I have been told that here in the Salt Lake City area, the Costco Checkers make $20 an hour! That is fantastic! Satisfied employees are a sure sign of a strong company.

2. The stores are always clean. This is a biggie for me. Even their public restrooms don't give me the heebie jeebies.

3. The food court pizza and hot dogs are fantastic! Not to mention CHEAP! And their churro's are a huge hit with my girls. Everything else there looks tasty as well. I can feed my entire family huge meals for less than $10!

4. The frozen entree's make me feel like I'm feeding my family delicious and healthy dinners. From the grilled chicken/artichoke heart ravioli, lasagna, french onion soup, teriyaki chicken and rice, it's all very tasty!

5. The Kirkland brand. Most anything that Kirkland puts their name on, you can pretty much guarantee that it's going to be the best of its product.

6. The return policy. They'll take anything back.

7. Their bakery is fabulous! The pastries are always perfectly moist, cakes are huge and yummy, their pumpkin pie makes it possible for me to never have to bake another pumpking pie again, the tiramasu is impressive to take to parties, and their cheesecake. Their CHEESECAKE!

8. Produce is alwasy fresh. Their avacados, mangos, mango slices, apples, oranges, pluots, lettuce, tomatoes... YUM!

9. Their meats are perfect cuts.

10. I can't believe I haven't mentioned their prices yet! The savings make the $50 membership worthwhile!

11. Clothes for kids and adults. Always in fashion and reasonably priced.

12. CHEAPER GASOLINE!

13. Whenever I have to bring something to a potluck, it's always something from Costco, whether it's a main dish, appetizer, or dessert. From the festive holiday cookie platters to the yummy artichoke jalapeno dip, it makes me look like I have the talent and skills of Martha!

14. Buying diapers and formula in bulk for baby twins. 'nuff said!

15. I've been replacing my old makeup with the Kirkland brand, and I love it!

16. Their flowers are always huge and fresh and beautiful.

17. CHEAPER GASOLINE!! I had to say it twice because it's so nice!

That's 17 ways so far, enough already! The point of this post is just to say, if there is life without Costco, I don't want to know what it's like.

The Man who Rocks My World

Was born 47 years ago today. In those 47 glorious years, he has brought peace, kindness, hope, poetry, philosophy, and rock and roll to the world.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BONO!!!

I've been dumped

The therapist that written much about in several previous posts, that I worshipped and adored, has dumped me. :( Not really... her office is set up for short term help, and she said it was clear that I needed someone long term. Sadly, I have to move on.

She was amazing. She helped me learn so much about myself. She was able to clearly see some inner workings of my brain that I was never able to make sense of before. She helped me discover that writing (physically writing, not typing) is a lost art that I love.

I meet with a new woman this afternoon. Long term therapy, here I come!

The Banana Incident

In my previous post, I mentioned a banana incident. It's probably one of those situations that you had to be there to appreciate, but I'm going to tell the story anyway. I still giggle about it.

My second to last day in the hospital, I was sitting at a table in our dining area, with Zane and Scott. We were reading the paper, snacking, and having idle chit-chat. Scott got up to get some coffee, and Zane looks at me and says "Hey, check this out. I have no gag reflex!" He proceeds to unpeel a 9 inch banana, sticks it in his mouth and all the way down his throat, then pulls it back out, completely intact. My jaw dropped, I was in awe! Scott, the former police officer, raised his eyebrows and said "Just don't go walking around any SLC parks doing that, alright?" and left the room. As I was laughing at Scott's statement, Zane looked at me confused.

"Why can't I do that in any parks?"

"You know... SLC parks? Teehee! Wink Wink, nudge nudge!"

"I don't get it, can you spell it out for me?" Thank goodness, Scott walked back in. "Scott, Zane doesn't get your last statement, will you please explain it to him?"

Scott says "Look. When you go to certain areas of some of the larger SLC parks, like Fairmont or Liberty, it is notorious for closted gay men to park their cars and hook up. Some back in, some park forward, depending on their preference. If you walk in front of their cars sticking a banana down your throat like that, they're going to think you want a date. If that's not your thing, I suggest you don't do it." I had seen a few stories on the news over the years to know what Scott was talking about. Also, Scott used to patrol these areas.

Zane looked shocked, and we were laughing about it. As people came in the room, I said "Guess what! Zane can stick an entire banana down his throat and pull it back out!" The looks on their faces were priceless.

I gave it up. It was funny while it lasted, but I could tell that Zane was annoyed, I had told enough people, so I was done. At dinner time, Evan sat down next to me. I looked at his tray, and saw a large banana. I said:

"Evan, don't ask me any questions, but when Zane sits down, offer him your banana."

"Why?" Evan said.

"Don't ask questions! Trust me, just offer your banana to him. I'lll explain later. TRUST ME!"

Zane sat down at the table next to us, his back faced Evan's back. I couldn't have more perfectly planned their sitting.

After Zane sits down, Evan leans backward with his banana in hand and said "Hey Zane, would you like my banana?"

A bunch of people (that I had told the story to) start laughing. Zane laughed and gave me a dirty look. He then grabbed Evan's collar, grabbed his banana off his tray, and says "I've got my own, BITCH!" Both tables bursted with laughter. I was pretty proud of myself, thinking that there was no way I could have planned the entire situation better.

Then. Zane's mom comes out of the blue. "Hi Zane! I wanted to see how you were doing. Apparently you're just fine!"

You just can't plan these things.

My Celebrity Look-Alikes... WTF?

No Julia Stiles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, or Renee Zellweger!

The People

"In a sky full of people, only some learn to fly. Isn't that Crazy" ~Seal

I want to write about some of the people that I met at the crazy place. None of their names are the actual names. These characters will likely come up in future blog posts. The following post was written for purely selfsih reasons, I don't expect anyone to really pay attention to it. I just didn't want to forget these details.

The first person I met was John. He is the man who came up to me my first night and told me that I was going to be okay. The next morning I was sitting on the couch in the dining area, and he sat next to me. He asked me if I was a cutter. I asked him if I looked like a cutter, and he said yes. I told him no, and told him what happened. He told me that he drove his car into a concrete wall on the freeway going 115 MPH. The airbags saved his life, and broke his ribs. John and I clicked immediately, he became one of my favorite people. He never got to move up to my unit but was given cafeteria priveleges, so I got to see him every day. Every time he saw me, he told me I looked 100 times better than I did the day before. Later he told me that my first night there I was so roughed up, I looked like a wrestler. We joked about that ever since.

After I moved into the adult unit, I met TJ. TJ seemed like a typical boyscout, and for some reason I felt safer having him there. He became my hero after he gave me one of his disposable razors so I didn't have to be an amazon woman anymore. (we were trusted with razors in the shower, but had to give them back). TJ also told me I looked better every time I saw him. One night we had a fire alarm go off at 3AM, and he was running up and down the halls banging on everyones door making sure they were awake (fals alarm). He was there for two weeks, and I never knew why.

Stuart. I could write poetry about Stuart. Possibly the most beautiful soul I have ever met. He is active LDS, has an adorable wife and baby son. He was very sad. For absolutely no reason. He said he's always suffered with depression. He was there for electric shock treatment. My first day there, I was napping in my room, and heard music down the hall. I thought it was the radio, so I went to see what was up. It was Stuart playing his guitar and singing "The World I Know" by Collective Soul. When he was done I asked him if he took requests, but unfortunately he didn't know anything by U2. He introduced himself to me, and after that, for some reason was comfortable with me. I found out later that he was excruciatingly shy and didn't introduce himself to anyone. He sat by me at group therapy sessions and at mealtimes. He played his guitar for us every night, it was a major mood boost. He was discharged the day before I was, and he was terrified to go home and face his reality. Such talent in this beautiful soul, such kindness. So much sadness. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I will always have a part of Stuart in my heart.

Sammie, my roommate. She is a southern belle that swears like a sailor, we got along great. She had some of the funniest sayings and was hilarious without trying. Sammie has lived alone most of her life. Her family lives across the country, and she has two cats for companions. She OD'd on over the counter pills with whiskey, because tired of her sad, lonely, and also overwhelming life. Going to this place was heaven for her. She was constantly surrounded by people who understood her, talked to her, and laughed with her. This was like a vacation at a restort for her. At night time, she would talk and talk and talk my ear off. One time I got up to go to the bathroom and closed the door. She kept talking to me. I shouted through the door "Sammie, I don't mean to be rude, but I have a shy bladder and can't talk and pee at the same time." And she said "oh, ok." then continued talking. *sigh* My last night there I tried going to bed after she was already asleep, but as soon as I entered the room, she started talking. No sleep for Christy.

Evan, former high school jock in his mid 20's. Alcoholic, drug addict, depressive. Very attractive guy, but was mostly stand-offish. However, once in awhile he would completely blow me away by sharing some deep, personal secrets. He had a great soul, just didn't want it to be widely known. He is staying there to detox, then entering a 30 day program to help him overcome his addictions. I admire him for having the strength to seek help at such a young age. He has a lot of bravery and I cross my fingers that he will make it.

Danny is 22, formerly in the Navy. Tall, thin, shoulder length curly dark hair with shine to make any girl green with envy. He also had tattoo's all over his body. I like to call him "Drama Queen". Every group session, we would brace ourselves for Danny to talk because he would go on and on and tell the same stories every time. He loved being the center of attention, loved being dramatic, loved the drugs he was getting (valium) to help him overcome anxiety and depression. He was a good guy, we had some good conversations. I don't know how he'll handle life in the real world, I'm afraid he'll go back to his old ways. He thought I was his age. Heh.

Hannah is also 22, she had been in the facility for two weeks, was still there when I left. This poor girl has experienced more pain and anguish in her life than anyone should ever have to in a million years. She watched her father kill her little brother when she was 4 and her brother was 18 months. He went to prison for 7 years then her mom welcomed him back home. She married her high school sweetheart when she was 18, he passed away in his sleep when they were 20. She has a quietly optimistic attitude. She was real.

Janet is a BYU student about to graduate, married in the temple with two kids, and is addicted to pain pills. She left the same day I did and is headed to a wilderness program in southern Utah for 35 days to overcome her addiction. She and I connected right away. After I was finally granted access to walk around without an escort, she and I went for a walk together. She told me "Christy, I just wanted to share something with you. Whenever people get up in sacrament meeting and say 'I know the church is true', I think that I just want to get up there and say 'the gospel of the church is true, but the people are not'". I just smiled and nodded, it wasn't the time to blow up and say "I didn't leave because I was offended! It was the history!".

Zane is a cool punk kid, and was kicked out of 3 universities for dealing drugs such as heroine, cocaine, and meth out of his dorm rooms. He dressed ultra hip and had gauges in his ears, with black spikey hair streaked with bright colors. This was his second attempt at detoxing. When his meds weren't kicking his ass and forcing him to sleep, he was funny, articulate, and intelligent. He is also the instigator of "The Banana Incident" that will deserve its own blog entry in the future. The night before I left, his friends called him and had relapsed. They said "Zane, you've relapsed before, you can relapse again! Fake it and get out of there and come do meth with us!" This devistated Zane and the doctors decided not to release him until he finds other methods of support when he leaves. When I left he gave me a big hug and wrote his number down and said "You better call me!".

Bob was a big brother/father figure to me. He is a rugged truck driver with a rough exterior but has the softest, most tender insides. He and I joked around a lot and had a lot of laughs together. Not once but twice he tried to force me to watch "Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy"... ugh! He's been unhappily married for 20 years, really wants a divorce, but has two daughters that he doesn't want to disappoint. One of his daughters was raped on easter two years ago, and he has a lot of residual anger from that. This recent easter, it all became too much for him, so he put a gun to his head and tried to pull the trigger, but it didn't go off. So then he took some anti anxiety meds with some whiskey. My last night there he banged on my bedroom door after I was asleep and said "GOODNIGHT!", reminding me of a pesky older brother.

The last person I'll write about is Scott. Scott is a former police officer for one of SLC's toughest neighborhoods. He was very attractive, in extremely great physical condition. His wife looked like a barbie doll and he had four above average looking children. You would never expect to see someone like him suffer with such severe depression. Scott was shot in the line of duty a few years ago, and had to medically retire. He told me that there is so much going on in our communities that doesn't make the 6 or 10 o'clock news.

There were many others. A retired school teacher. And alcoholic single mother. An alcoholic stay at home mom of four children. A beauty queen who suffers from narcotics addiction. A woman whose husband was leaving her after his 16th affair. The day before I left, two women detoxing from meth were admitted. I've never seen anyone detox before, it was quite the reality check. I never want to forget those images.

So many different people, so many different paths in life. Somehow, we all ended up at the same place at the same time, and had no masks to hide behind. Depression and addiction does not discriminate.

"Imagine all the people living for today" ~John Lennon

A conversation I never thought I would have with my dad

Me: I appreciate mom's offer to come help me finish unpacking, but I don't want her to see that I have beer in my fridge.

Dad: You know, I love beer, I always have. I would be fine with just keeping some of the non-alcoholic kind on hand because I just like the taste. But she could not handle that.

My Forecast

In the future, I have no idea what year, I believe that Google will and should take over the world.

And so it goes....

You don't find your identity, you create it. ~James, Psychotherapist

20 years after being diagnosed with depression, it finally happened. I wound up in the looney bin. Crazy place. Mental Hospital. Psych Ward. For my friends that sent me emails, phone calls, text messages, voicemails, etc., now you know why. Also, now that I've been to the looney bin, I can finally make looney bin jokes, so it's all been worth it! It's like being jewish, a dentist, or black. You can only make the jokes if you are of that persuasion. I am officially a mental case! I can make fun of crazy people any time I want. YES!!!

If Dooce can blog about it, then so can I!

Last friday (the 13th, ironically enough), I reached the darkest, saddest, scariest moment of my life. I didn't really want to kill myself, I just wanted to sleep for a very, very, very, VERY long time. I didn't have my kids last weekend, and hadn't stopped crying for 3 days. I saw my therapist, and she suggested that I call my psychiatrist ASAP to ask for a medicine increase. I called on my drive away from her office, but couldn't get in until the next afternoon.

That was just too long for me.

I went to work on Friday morning and was felt so overwhelmed. With everything. I've been so sad and lonely lately. I've been overwhelmed with work, life, kids, seperation/pending divorce, lack of computer at home (have I mentioned that this is being typed on my brank spankin' new HP Laptop with a 17 inch hi-def widescreen monitor and 240 gig hard drive?), lack of interaction with my friends and family, etc. etc. etc. I couldn't function anymore. I was getting nothing done. So, I went home.

When I got home, I grabbed a bottle of water and my bottle of anti-anxiety meds. I took one, and started journaling my thoughts. I was still in pain. So I took another, continued to write. Still in pain. I took another, and yup, still in pain. Soon enough, I felt ready to sleep. I sent Jer a text asking him to cancel my dr. appointment for the afternoon, and to arrange pre-school pick up for the girls. I told him I was going to sleep. Because of some previous conversations and fights we had over the day prior, he knew something was up. He called my parents, the paramedics, and my apartment manager. By the time they all got there, I was pretty out of it. I was immediately taken to the ER. At this point I was pissed and angry at Jeremy. How dare he do this to me! I sent some super nasty texts to him, was not very responsive to the ER techs (I had just taken a few anti anxiety meds!), so I was admitted to the psych ward for imprisonment... er, I mean, observation.

This place truly was crazy, and I was still pissed. I wasn't allowed bedsheets or pillowcases, not even a hair brush, or my own clothes. I was in scrubs with a plastic comb and slept between two blankets. There was one dude walking up and down the halls in his flip flops yelling at everyone he saw. He would flip his lunch and dinner trays. He would listen to others phone calls and yell out his own answers. There was another dude there who didn't stop talking, ever. A girl who would complain over everything, including possibly losing an eyelash. This place was not for me. I only felt more lonely and isolated. This place was dark, sad, and depressing beyond anything I've ever seen before. I sat and contemplated my escape. I didn't care if I had to walk 20 miles home, I was getting out of there. I went to group therapy that night, and told them on a mood scale of 1-10, I was a 2. In reality, I was a negative 10. This was the worst night of my life. After therapy, the only other seemingly "normal" person came up to me and touched my shoulder and he said "Hey, I've been where you are. You're going to be okay." and left. Later that night I would proceed to call Jeremy and tell him I hope he dies and goes to hell, yelled at a nurse for berating me and told him to never deal with me again, and cried to my mom on the phone because she was "too tired" to visit me that night. The night I needed her the most.

The next day I talked to a psychiatrist, who told me that I scared him, but he knew I didn't belong in the ward. He said that if I promise not to hurt myself or try to escape, he would move me to the next unit up, where I would have more freedoms and be surrounded by more like-minded people. I promised him, and was transferred right away.

In the next few days, I will blog more about this experience. It is something I never want to forget. I will blog about the people that I met... it's amazing how all different walks of life are affected by depression. How people from such different backgrounds can all end up at the same place at the same time. I will also blog about my learnings, in hopes that they will perhaps help others.

Until then, I'm not ashamed to admit that I spent a few days in "The Crazy Place". I'm just glad the help was there.

Oh, and I'm not mad at Jer anymore.

Match Made in Heaven

Coffee and Girlscout cookies. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Just sayin'.....


Oh, and hi everyone! So tell me, what are great food combos that you love?

The Real Deal

It's gut spilling time.

It seems silly at this point that Jer and I have been so hush hush about our personal lives. I mean it wasn't silly for a long time, but now, pretty much everyone knows, it's kind of a widely known secret, so why not make it public?

Jer and I have been seperated since the beginning of this year. I won't go into any details as to why, nor will I point fingers or place blame. I will always have a great deal of love and respect for him, he truly is one of the greatest human beings that I know. Both of us have been in a lot of therapy to help us get through this time, it hasn't been easy for either of us. Now you know the gist of my therapy posts.

Now to answer some FAQ's:

Divorce paperwork has not been filed yet. We want to come to a friendly agreement on the terms, to avoid mediation or a nasty court situation. We have been waiting for each of us to become stable enough to work through this amicably.

We sold our house, and have each moved into our own places. We have been doing a 50/50 custody arrangement with our girls. So far it is working, but we're always open to re-evaluation.

Speaking of the girls, they are fine. They are young enough that this won't cause huge trauma for them. They don't like it, but they're dealing with it in very healthy ways. They have a lot of love from each of us, as well as both sides of our families. They're getting plenty of support and have not been neglected in the slightest. I'm actually amazed at how well our families have pulled together in not only supporting us during these difficult times, but making the girls the #1 priority.

I have a kick ass family, and kick ass friends. I've had to lean on them A LOT during this time, and have been amazed at the show of support that I've had. Family and friends don't love this decision, but they love each of us as individuals. At the beginning of this I was afraid that I would lose frienships in the process, but my friends have only made their friendship more prevalent. And my family has only been more loving and supportive. I'm very lucky, I couldn't have made it through these times without them.

We have both dated other people since seperating. Neither of us had an affair.

I blame much of this on the mind fuck and mental rape I had from the church. Jer and I actually had an intense conversation about this, just this morning. I plan on blogging more about that as time goes on.

I'm still on somewhat of a hiatus, but I needed to get this out.

As the PR reps would say, Jer and I will appreciate our privacy at this time, but still need and want the friendship and support of friends, both cyberly and in real life. If you have questions, you can ask, but we may not answer. Don't feel like you need to walk on egg shells around us, you don't. Please don't ignore us becuase you feel awkward or don't know what to say. We need you.

And now you know the truth.

Mini-Hiatus

Hi Everyone!

Apologies to those of you who check back here frequently to see my lastest updates, life has been nothing short of crazy lately. I'm in the middle of major changes and won't have internet access at home for a little while, plus I'm completely swamped at work.

I will be back, but for now, it's fair for me to let you know it will be a little while... no estimated time at this point.

Wry- I never got your text! :( I was so looking forward to it! The fact that you tried means the world.

Sideon- Thanks for becoming my text BFF!

Meg Slate- I'll never forget the time you told me that texting was a talent you don't have. Trust me- once you start, you'll wonder how you ever did without it.

I'll return soon. My love to all!

-Christy

Christy Savaging Degeneration: Text Messages and the Subject of Borders

It is my opinion that text messages are quite possibly the greatest invention of this century. Or have they been around longer? I'm not sure. Perhaps my friend Eric can give me further insight on that. I think I received my first ever text message in 2003, it was from my sister and it said "Boo!". Quite frankly I was a little afraid of it because I didn't know what it was or what to do with it. The whole "fear of the unknown" thing.

I was sitting in the waiting room of my Dr's office last week, and other than myself, the receptionist (who is probably Scarlett Johansson's identical twin sister) was the only other person in the room. I heard a cell phone beep and I watched as she picked her phone up and read the text message, and her entire face lit up. Then she had a couple of phone call interactions and receptionists frequently do, then resumed to responding to her text. She was giggling to herself and had a special glow about her... I couldn't help but wondering what the message exchange was, or who it was from. It was a fun experience in people watching.

Of course this reminded me of a couple of friends I owed texts to so I got my phone out and probably had similar expressions to those of the receptionist. All of this got me thinking about how great texts are. I believe they are the most convenient form of communication in this day and age. They're instant, and depending on the urgency, you can either respond immediately or take your time. You don't have to deal with voice to voice interactions or potential awkwardness.

Each time I get a text I feel special... I love seeing the little envelope on my display, is it wrong to be so excited over that? I remember when I first got the internet (Prodigy) in 1991, nothing would make my heart skip like seeing the "NEW MAIL" flashing sign. Nothing so small has made me so giddy ever since.

Not all of my texts are happy, wonderful messages. I get some sad, scary, and otherwise upsetting news as well. But receiving this via text allows me to deal with what I need to in my own way, without the pressure of instant response.

The one drawback to texts, is it can disengage people, especially if they're in a crowd of friends. I am so guilty of this! I have been in situations with a few friends where we'll be sitting together, but each off in our own world texting other people to our hearts content, when we probably should have been enjoying the company of each other. Oh, and I also ought to try to not text while driving. Although I have learned that nothing makes a stop light go faster than trying to text someone during the wait.

The point of this post is: If you want to make my day and know my cell phone number, send me a text! If you don't have my number but want it, let me know and if I know you and like you, I'll send it along.

You want to know what's better than texts? Picture texts! (but PLEASE, no chain/spam texts! I'll delete them just like I do the chain/spam emails!)

Does this post make me officially pathetic for being an attention whore?

On this day in history, March 12....

Stealing this from my friend Eric, who did this one week ago today.

Thanks to Wikipedia, we know that on this day in history:

515 BC - Construction is completed on the Second Temple in Jerusalem.
538 - Witiges, king of the Ostrogoths ends his siege of Rome and retreats to Ravenna, leaving the city in the hands of the victorious Roman general, Belisarius.
1664 - New Jersey becomes a colony of Britain.
1868 - Henry James O'Farrell attempts to assassinate Prince Alfred, Duke of Edinburgh.
1881 - Andrew Watson made his Scotland debut as the world's first black international football player and captain.
1894 - Coca-Cola is sold in bottles for the first time.
1908 - The Pan-Macedonian group is formed in Athens to support the Greek Struggle for Macedonia.
1912 - The Girl Guides (later renamed the Girl Scouts of the USA) are founded in the U.S..
1913 - Canberra Day: The future capital of Australia was officially named Canberra. (Melbourne remained temporary capital until 1927 while the new capital was still under construction.)
1918 - Moscow becomes the capital of Russia again after Saint-Petersburg held this status for 215 years.
1928 - In California, the St. Francis Dam fails, killing 400 people.
1930 - Mahatma Gandhi leads a 200-mile march known as Dandi March to the sea in defiance of British opposition, to protest the British monopoly on salt.
1933 - Great Depression: Franklin Delano Roosevelt addresses the nation for the first time as President of the United States. This was also the first of his "Fireside Chats."
1938 - Anschluss: German troops occupy Austria; annexation declared the following day.
1940 - Winter War: Finland signs the Moscow Peace Treaty with the Soviet Union, ceding almost all of Finnish Karelia. Finnish troops and remaining population are immediately evacuated.
1947 - The Truman Doctrine is proclaimed to help stem the spread of Communism.
1951 - The Dennis the Menace comic strip appears in newspapers across the USA for the first time.
1956 - The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 500 for the first time (500.24)
1958 - In Hilversum, Netherlands, André Claveau wins the third Eurovision Song Contest for France singing "Dors, mon amour" (Sleep, my love).
1960 - A fire at a chemical plant in Pusan, Korea kills 68.
1967 - Suharto takes over from Sukarno to become President of Indonesia.
1968 - Mauritius achieves independence.
1975 - I was born
1987 - Les Misérables opens on Broadway.
1992 - Mauritius becomes a republic while remaining a member of the Commonwealth of Nations.
1992 - 13 are killed and several injured when a tram-car crashes into a crowd of people at the tram-station at Vasaplatsen in Gothenburg, Sweden.
1993 - Several bombs explode in Bombay (Mumbai), India, killing about 300 and injuring hundreds more.
1993 - North Korea nuclear weapons program: North Korea says that it plans to withdraw from the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty and refuses to allow inspectors access to nuclear sites.
1994 - A photo by Marmaduke Wetherell, previously touted as 'proof' of the Loch Ness monster, is confirmed to be a hoax.
1994 - The Church of England ordains its first female priests.
1999 - Former Warsaw Pact members the Czech Republic, Hungary and Poland join NATO.
2002 - In Texas, Andrea Yates is found guilty of drowning her five children. On appeal she was found not guilty by reason of insanity.
2003 - Zoran Đinđić, Prime Minister of Serbia, assassinated in Belgrade.
2004 - Roh Moo-hyun, President of South Korea is impeached by its national assembly for the first time in the nation's history.
2005 - Tung Chee Hwa, the first Chief Executive of Hong Kong, steps down from his post after his resignation is approved by the Chinese central government.
2005 - New SAT is administered.
2006 - Australia score a world record 434 runs in a One-day International cricket match against South Africa. South Africa replied by beating the record again to score 438/9 to win.

Raise a glass for me tonight and say "Cheers to 32!"

Ethnocentric Darkness and the Postmodernity of Orgasmic Penetration in Christy's Following my Energy

Warning: The following writing is self indulgent. Hell, who am I kidding? This entire blog is self indulgent, that's why I started it.

How do you like my title? I need to give nods to my super fantastic friend Meg Slate, she pointed me in the direction of a title generator. I shall never have boring titles again!


I'm going to blog about the therapy appointment I had today. I feel so very fortunate with this therapist that I found, and hope that in sharing some of what I'm learning, I can help other people.

Today, my therapist told me to follow my energy. Since leaving mormonism, I no longer have any kind of spiritual guidance. In place of that, I have become too needy and dependant on other people. I have, in a sense, made other people to be my "gods", and have given them my core. It's either created a great imbalance for me, or else I've stagnated. Regardless, I need to work on centering my core within myself.

I am an extrovert. Any of you who know me in real life can say "duh!" to that. I get my energy by being around other people. I feel most alive when I come to work first thing in the morning and cheefully say "Good Morning!" to my co-workers. When I'm alone, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't really like who I am. I feel lazy and boring. I can look back on my life and count on one hand how many times I have truly enjoyed an evening to myself. So, I need to work on that. I need to love myself, and be at peace with me. Not to the point where I shy away and become reclusive, but I need to accept myself for who I am.

I discovered that I feel like a fraud. I feel like people get to know me and are attracted to my outgoing, positive, confident, friendly nature, but I'm afraid the novelty of that will wear off and people will see that I really am insecure and unaware. This causes me to shy away and possibly damage potential relationships and friendships. Granted, I do believe that I am authentic, I don't think that I intentionally put on a facade for people, I just fear that they think I am. If that makes any sense at all!

She gave me two sheets of prompts for writing assignments, as I wrote about here, and I love that. Blogging is fun and theraputic and all, but these are meant to be intensely private, provoking questions. If anyone would like some of these I'd be happy to share, but I'd rather do that in email, or a more private setting.

Her next assignment for me is to give myself 10 minutes every day, where I sit alone where I won't be interrupted. Also, set a timer so that I don't have to think about the time while I'm there, but I won't lose track of it, either. She said that for 10 minutes, I am to just sit and let my feelings bottom out. Just let myself think or feel however it is that I'm feeling at that moment... don't try to supress anything. Whether it's sadness, anger, happiness, frustration, anxiety, etc. This sounds very interesting, and I look forward to seeing how this helps me.

I don't have another appointment with her until the 30th... ugh, that seems like such a long time!

Thanks for reading. Sorry that the contents of this post weren't as orgasmic as my title! :)