Tuesday, October 31, 2006

If I ruled the world

I grew up thinking that I was going to become a goddess of my own world, if I lived worthily enough. Every now and then I would think "When I get my own world, I'm going to do things this______ way".

Here are some things that I would do if I ruled my own world.


  • Putting shoes on furniture would be an offense punishable by death. (I take my clean furniture seriously)
  • Babies would sleep through the night from the get-go.
  • Speaking of babies, you would have to fill out the proper paperwork and take certain classes before you're allowed to get pregnant. And pregnancy could be carried by either the man or the woman, whichever is more convenient.
  • Orgasms would last longer.
  • When you turn 35, you get the option of picking one year of your life to go back and live over, knowing then what you know now. When the year is over, you get a preview of what your life would be like if you did things differently, and then you can choose which of the years you want to keep in your memory bank.
  • It would be possible to travel via apparation, floo powder, or portkey.

I reserve the right to add more to this list at a later time.

12 comments:

La said...

I would do away with all things viral. Like the goddamned cold I have. *sigh*

from the ashes said...

I used to do the same thing when I was a kid. The one thing my sisters and I agreed on?

No more "time of the month" for women!

When I mentioned to DH that we used to fantasize about our own worlds, he thought I was crazy. I'm glad to know other kids had the same weirdo Mormon upbringing!

Christy said...

La, sorry to hear about your cold! :( I'm finally over mine. Take it easy, okay?

FTA- Too funny! I'm pretty sure I fantasized about the time of the month thing, too. I agree, let's do away with that.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Obviously I'd do away with pregnancy stretching out your stomach, as well as lasting 9 months. Duh!

Also, I'd make it so nobody on earth suffered from headaches. Ever. The word wouldn't even exist in any language.

Christy said...

teehee SML-- I actually LOVED being pregnant. I only did it once, and would do it over and over again if I didn't have to be the one responsible to raise the kids thereafter. Pregnancy was kind to me, even if I had a high risk full of complications 8 months (I had to deliver a month early). I'm a freak who loved experiencing ever single aspect.

But I hear you on the headaches. They serve no purpose, and should absolutely be abolished.

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm even weirder because I never even thought about "If I Ruled the World, I would...."

I fantasized mainly about what kinds of super-powers I would possess.

Travel at the speed of thought, power of flight, ability to shape-shift (I particularly wanted to be dolphin)... you know, that kinda thing.

Anonymous said...

Psssssst...this may be TMI but continuous-use birth control pills eliminate that pesky period problem.

Christy said...

Pssssst ros, I know. Sadly, the pill makes Christy feel like she's experiencing post partum depression all over again. Not a good thing.

Hey, don't you defend your dissertation this month? WHEN??? I need to know so that I can send you positive vibes!

Anonymous said...

Bummer, my favorite bunny.

I do defend this month! Nov 28th. Eeek!

Christy said...

dude, Ros, do you realize that that's in less than four weeks? Even I'm starting to get nervous about it! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed....

Anonymous said...

I know! It is totally blowing my mind. I don't think about much else. Thanks for the good vibes and the crossed fingers.

That sounded dirty. Heh.

Bishop Rick said...

Christy,

If you were a Goddess of your own world, you would have to spend all your time pumping out babies to populate it. At least you like that, and you can share time with the rest of Heber's Goddesses.