The World Is My Oyster Club

Now that I've shared my long and oh-so-boring disaffection story, I thought I'd tell you where I am at now, since my former world has long since crumbled down.

My husband and I joined the DAMU, mostly the AIMOO boards such as NOM and The View From the Foyer. We also joined Cherry, but that's not really part of the DAMU. For those who are unaware, DAMU stands for "DisAffected Mormon Underground". We started posting on the boards extremely anonymously. We used fake names with new email addy's to join. We wanted to remain as undercover as possible. We started getting to know some people, and little by little we began to reveal ourselves more and more. I was finally relaxed about using my real name and picture once I came out to my mom.

After our faith crumbled, and we were over the shocked part, we started our own paths of re-discovery. I won't speak about what happened to my husband as that's his story to tell, so I'll just make this all about me. I started learning who I was, what values I stood for, and what I wanted to accomplish and do with my life. I realized that I had been so lazy for so long, always relying on the magical mystery man in the sky to direct my paths. I no longer had someone to pray to when I was scared to drive in the snow. When my employer announced layoffs for my department, I couldn't assume that it was "his" will. I had to really find myself. And I got through some bad snowstorms, based on a competent car and driving ability. I learned to shine my resume and find another job without dwelling on the negatives (might I add, I got a kick-ass promotion with a lot more money out of the deal... so much for not paying tithing!). It sounds cliche, but I really learned to depend on me. I found strengths that I didn't know existed. I learned that I needed to figure out my own boundaries and comfort levels with many of lifes situations. I no longer had anything telling me what was okay and what was not okay, not even what underwear I had to put on each morning!

While living in Utah does have its drawbacks, it certainly has it's perks as well, more specifically with the local ex-mo's. And the fact that several non local ex-mo's have reasons to visit Utah has been the icing on the cake. I have met the most brilliant, kind, generous, and fun people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am amazed at how normal and fascinating these people are. The friendships I've made are authentic and what I always hoped for, but never received in mormon culture.

One of my friends, Brandon, sent out an email to a bunch of the locals one night. Brandon is very philosphical with fantastic deep thoughts, you can't not love Brandon. Brandon closed his email with saying something to the effect of "It's a pleasure to be in this 'World Is My Oyster' club with all of you, the possibilities are endless. Goodnight"

Now I feel mostly recovered (I still have rare bouts of post mormon anger), and in love with life. I try to take advantage of all learning opportunities that I can, and make each moment count. Life is too short to waste on regrets and what ifs.